To new readers
Please make sure that you’re reading the archives on the right side of the web page. This blog format will list the newest blog entries first and all the meaty stuff is deep in the archives! Trust me!
-SNS
Looking back
I know a lot of the regular readers have noticed that I’ve been missing in action for the past couple months and I had detailed my saga over the Facebook page and also here, on the blog. I’ve mentioned that I’ve found another job, outside the restaurant industry, but still remaining in a customer service-type role for the time being. I found that my current job was a bit of an easy transition, since as a server, I was responsible for taking care of the customer’s needs, along with giving information about my city, all the fun things to do in it and which streets to avoid during rush hour or late at night. So, I suppose that since I’ve been out of the industry for a couple of months, I thought I might detail my feelings about my time waiting tables, speak to those who are currently in the industry and warn those who are looking to get into it.
If you were to ask me if I’d ever go back to waiting tables again, I’d tell you “no”. Waiting tables is rough. I could give you a list of all the things that makes waiting tables a terrible job choice (hell, you’d just need to read my blog), including the fucked up schedule you end up living, but there are some things that make waiting tables a viable choice as well. I understand that people get into the industry for a number of reasons, but for some people (like me) it is hard to leave it. I suppose that’s why I was doing it for 10 years.
The schedule really is a double-edged sword. Sure, it’s great that you can wait tables while going to school, or have it as a second job, but it’s definitely not designed to be a full-time job. It’s great being able to make your own schedule, work a paltry 4-6 hour days and make decent money. Because you usually don’t have to go into work until nine or ten in the morning to set up for the lunch shift, it allows you to have a great night life, not having to worry about waking up the next morning at five to get ready for work. It’s also great that you often have no problem getting the days off you want, since you’re not handcuffed by regulations on sick and personal days and you have at least 15-20 co-workers who would be happy to take your shift that day so you can go to a concert instead of work. The real downside to the schedule is that you start realizing that it’s not normal. While everyone else is going home and enjoying their evening, watching their favorite shows on TV, you’re working. Thank God for DVR.
On top of that, even working 30 hours a week in a high-intensity, high-stress job like waiting tables can be physically and mentally draining. I commend those who can handle waiting tables for 40 hours a week, but I think if you were to ask them how they truly feel about their job and their life, I have a strong feeling that they’d tell you they weren’t happy with either.
If you were to ask me if I could go back 10 years and change my job choice, I’d tell you “yes”. Waiting tables, unless you have a desire to manage or own one someday is a terrible career choice. In fact, employers outside the customer service field look down on you if you were a waiter for a long period of time. If I could go back and take a job that had some kind of upward movement, I would do that in a heartbeat. Waiting tables is a stagnant position. Sure, you might leave your shitty corporate Mexican restaurant and move up to a fancy French restaurant to make a little more money, but you’re still performing the same job. Yes, there are opportunities to be a manager, but you really have to have that mindset that it’s what you want to do from the start. Sure, I made good money, but I really was stuck in a whirlpool, unable to escape.
Getting fired for this damn blog was probably the best thing to ever happen to me. This blog was supposed to be about life in the industry, as a way for me to vent about the crazy things that went on in a restaurant. The sad thing is that there were so many completely different subjects that I could write about. It’s amazing that I had so many complaints and what’s even more amazing is that many of you connected with my sentiments. You laughed and cheered me on because what I wrote really hit home with you and with other people all across the world. My question to you is: why do we put up with it? Why do we have a job that causes us so much stress and makes us hate society so much that we label them, throw them into categories of complainers? I suppose someone has to do it and since we’re so good at it, I guess we can sacrifice ourselves to make others’ experiences better.
I really feel that this is going to be my last blog post. Since I’m no longer in the restaurant industry, there really isn’t much more for me to write about. I send all my thanks to you regular readers, Facebook followers, friends and family who have supported this blog, passed it on and really provided a few laughs to the world. The blog will stay up as long as it can, so please feel free to pass it along to all your co-workers and friends so that they can enjoy the same hilarious connections that you had with it. You guys have all been great! I love reading your comments and the discourse therein is always entertaining. Keep your head up and always be looking for something better than what you’ve got now.
86: Server Not Slave.
All Anyone Wants is the Juicy Details
The only people that do not like an expose are the ones being exposed. If they could, everyone else would drench their pancakes, mix with Jaeger, or fill a bathtub and swim in all the juicy details that an expose gives. It’s why “To Catch a Predator” is one of Dateline NBC’s best segments or why TMZ is making Harvey Levin a millionaire when The People’s Court didn’t. People want to have things to get angry about or gossip to their co-workers the next morning at work. No one goes into work and says “hey, did you see the story last night about the cat that miraculously cures cancer patients by leaving a smelly present under their bed?” No, they’ll go into work and talk about the segment they saw where the news station sent a team of investigators to run a black light around a hotel room to illuminate as much bodily fluid as a Jackson Pollack painting (not that Mr. Pollack used bodily fluids to paint, but you get my point). Modern human nature thrives on negative news. I know it, you know it and even they know it. That’s why if you turn on your local news, more than half of the stories mentioned are negative. They’ve realized that although we hate to see how nasty the “SleepMor Motel” really is, we just can’t not look. We’re a nation of rubberneckers.
I suppose that’s what this blog is: an exposé. It’s an exposé, not necessarily of my personal employers, but of the restaurant industry as a whole. To sound more scientific, I really would rather like to call this blog the result of a very long social experiment. Most of what I write are generalizations of experiences and trends that I have been a witness to over the course of the past ten years. After maintaining this blog for two years and the thousands of responses I have received from friends and those leaving comments on the specific pages, I’ve noticed that my experiences are surprisingly not unique. After that length of time working in an industry that forces you to interact with hundreds of thousands of your fellow human beings every year, you most certainly tend to form opinions of them whether you know it or not. I suppose that’s why Steven Slater, that Jet Blue flight attendant snapped and quit his job in style. It seems that after 20 years of being crammed in an enclosed space 30,000 ft. in the air with 180 of his fellow human beings was too much for this working-class hero. I’m amazed that he could handle it for over 20 years, since I can barely stand being in an elevator with six of you for more than eight seconds.
No one really wants to be told “how it is” when it comes to things that they do or take part in. Sadly, we all want to see misery in the world, but if it doesn’t directly affect our personal bubble of reality, we say “oh, that’s sad” and move along with our lives. However, should the veil of self-righteousness be pulled aside and a mirror of truth be presented, almighty-personal-diety forbid that our behaviors impact others negatively in any way. Because as we all know, there’s no way me bringing an infant into a restaurant is going to negatively impact other customers.
I assume that’s why so many people got irate when I wrote about the subject of hot tea. Many people like hot tea, and although it can be a real irritation for a server to make, hot tea drinkers will defend their choice of beverage as if I had just accused their child of tripping mine during a K-5 soccer match. “It’s a part of (the game)/(your job)! Deal with it!” See what I mean?
That’s why I like blogging. I use my constitutional first amendment rights to say whatever I want to say and whoever wants to read it can do so. You can write a blog, too, and I wholeheartedly encourage it. Unfortunately, you can’t stop anyone from reading it, too. Well, I guess you can if you just decide to shut it all down, but then to whom will you vent? Perhaps Mr. Slater would have kept his job if he had a blog. Well, at least until his superiors read it.
From the server side: a response.
Dear Managers,
We read your letter in A letter from your manager… and concede that you do make some very valid points. We agree that we should be held responsible for our actions and come to work ready to perform to our best ability, however we also have a few items that we’d like address to you, our managers, the first being that we are not mindless drones. Most of us are college students pursuing a bachelor’s degree in our respective fields so that we do not end up as a balding, socially immature forty-something whose failures in life brought him to where he is now, using his position as a manager of a restaurant to combine the feelings of power over others with the opportunity to hit on unsuspecting coeds. We have bigger ambitions than that.
So, there are a few things that we would like to bring to your attention:
Item #1: Professional Responsibility
We realize that when you were hired/promoted to a management position in a restaurant and made responsible for thirty to forty employees, you made a good enough impression on the owners/GM to make them believe that you were a competent delegator that could have the employees keeping the machine of the restaurant well lubricated and running smoothly. However, we do not believe that the owners/GM intended to have you using the employees to keep yourself lubricated, as well. It is professionally irresponsible for you to use your power over the young, naive waitresses and hostesses to pursue your lecherous intentions. Furthermore, we also expect you to know that you are responsible for fixing any issues that we might have when we need them corrected. If you want this machine running the way your employer intended it to be, it means that you cannot be taking extended smoke breaks during the dinner rush or hiding out in the walk-in cooler, sneaking the Goose bottle that you expect will find its way to the “loss column” of the bar report. The fact of the matter remains is that most of us are more competent at your job than you are and although our job can be performed by a trained monkey, yours may not be needed at all.
Item #2: Communication is Key
You and the owners are the decision makers of the restaurant. We understand that there is a constant need to make changes to the menu to keep people interested in coming back and also to stay “hip with the times”. You might change menu items, restaurant policies or even issue coupons in the local paper to illicit business in the coming weeks. We the servers, the all-knowing communicators of the restaurant end up looking like complete idiots when you make changes and the customers know about them before we do. When you add a chicken salad sandwich to the lunch menu, I look like a complete moron when I have a customer ask me for it and I tell them “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve that” and then they show me the menu clearly stating the presence of a chicken salad sandwich. Please, if you don’t want us to “accidentally” break shit because we’re frustrated, keep us informed of any changes.
Item #3: You’re a Manager, Not a Babysitter
Like all wind-up toys, point me in the right direction and get the hell out of our way. Many of us have been doing this long enough that we can handle ourselves well enough that we don’t need a babysitter watching over us like Big Brother, waiting for us to make a mistake so you can have the opportunity to exert your power over us. If I need anything, I’ll ask my co-worker first; unlike you, they actually remember what it’s like to be a waiter and work as a team. The only thing I need for you to do is sit on the proverbial couch, watch some T.V. and take care of any problems I come to you with. Your job is easy enough, I’m trying to make it easier for you.
Guaranteed to cause cancer and ignite gasoline fumes.*
“You’re Abe Froman?”
- “Yes”
“Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago?”
These words elicit fond memories for those of us who remember watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off back in the 80′s. The scene is set: Ferris, Sloan and Cameron pick the fanciest restaurant in all of Chicago and steal a reservation set for a meat magnate by calling the restaurant asking for “Abe Froman”, who happened to look exactly like Ferris Bueller.
Fast forward 24 years to the year 2010 and the ability to pull this trickeration off is reduced to nil. In 2010, the woman calling for Abe Froman (Sloan calling) wouldn’t have called the restaurant to reach him, she would have just called his Blackberry. I say Blackberry, because a man of his meaty, sausage-y stature and business savvy wouldn’t be caught dead using an iPhone4 (his daughter would, perhaps). Don’t forget the fact that Abe Froman probably has the restaurant, Chez Quis in his contacts list, so he’d probably call ahead to let the Maitre D’ know that he was running late. Thus, Ferris’ day off wouldn’t have been so well-rounded. Imagine after doing amazing things like driving around in a Ferrari, dancing and singing in a parade and catching a ball at a baseball game, the three of them went and grabbed lunch at a Taco Tico. It just doesn’t fit. I suppose we can all trace it back to Abe Froman’s Blackberry, couldn’t we?
Having cell phones on us at all times has become the standard. It’s almost become such an odd occurrence when you can’t reach someone immediately, that there must be something terribly wrong. Of course, we must always be available to anyone who tries to reach us in case something important has happened. This desire of accessibility has even extended it’s tendrils into what should be an enjoyable, sensational experience: dining out. Twenty years ago, there were no cell phones to distract us in a restaurant. We’d either dine alone with a newspaper or lunch with friends and family. With all these people constantly on their cell phones while they eat, you almost forget that they call it a “Lunch Break” for a reason. It doesn’t mean “Lunch get-away-from-the-office-but-keep-working”.
We, who work on the front lines in a restaurant require human interaction to perform our jobs. If we can’t get your attention or hold a short conversation with you, you don’t get served and we don’t get paid; the two things that are pretty standard operation for a server. There seems to be two schools of thought when it comes to customers will cell phones: those that will interrupt your mobile conversation and those that will not. I tend to lean towards the latter rather than the former. If I see a customer who is on their cell phone, I’ll either walk up to the table and acknowledge the cell phone or I will “eagle eye” the person from a far distance until I notice that they have put the phone down.
As much as I dislike people excessively using cell phones at the table, I understand it. However, your cell phone is not a brick wall. Yes, you may having what you think is an important phone call, but you can see that your server is standing right next to you. Continuing to talk, making no acknowledgment to your server and pretending they are not there is analogous putting your fingers in your ears and going “la-la-la-la-la-la-la”. If you’re going to use your cell phone at the table, understand that someone who claims ownership of the table you’re sitting at has a job to do. We know that you’re busy and we respect that you work hard, but we work hard also. When you’re on lunch break, we go to work. We appreciate it when customers will tell the person on the other line to “hold on” and address us with whatever it is we need from them, whether it be to get them something to drink or take their order.
There are quite a few things I’d like to talk about when it comes to cell phones, but this little segment is long enough.
I’m not going to go off on a rant as to why customers should put away their cell phones when they come into a restaurant. It’s unrealistic to think that in this modern era of technology that people can detach themselves from accessibility for an hour a day. Maybe one day those tumors growing in our heads because of cell phones will eventually become a cell phone and we would ALL be hands-free*!
*Cell phones have not been proven to cause cancer, tumors or ignite gasoline fumes.
Philosophy on an Industry
I’ve stated before how different the restaurant industry is compared to say, retail but I had never attempted to explain why the restaurant industry as a whole is so volatile.
Ownership
Owning a restaurant is certainly a high-risk endeavor. An owner who desires to be successful should have both a mastery of business and a mastery of the restaurant world, which is certainly a very rare pair of traits to acquire. It requires both spending years learning a focused aspect of the industry – whether it be in the kitchen (a trained chef) or on the floor (a long-time waiter/manager) – and acquiring business-related education. Of course, there are those occasions where an owner may be successful without having only one of these important qualities, but rarely is the case where an owner is successful without having either. However, there is always the alternative of being a silent owner and hiring general managers who have the experience one would lack. If you want to jump into a risky business like owning a restaurant head first without any previous business or restaurant experience, you”ll be making a swan dive into a kiddie pool.
In association with Businessweek, H.G. Parsa, an associate professor at the Ohio State University’s Hospitality Management program performed a study that gave some surprising result about owning a restaurant:
“His [Parsa's] research—consistent with similar studies—found that about one in four restaurants close or change ownership within their first year of business. Over three years, that number rises to three in five.”
Imagine having a great idea for a unique restaurant in your town, realizing that there’s a 25% chance you’ll go belly-up within the first year and a 60% chance that you’ll fail within the first 3-5. Not to mention that because banks see restaurants has being a high-risk investment, they’ll require you to put a large, previous investment like your family’s home up for collateral while charging you an outrageous amount of interest. I say this to anyone without previous restaurant experience: are you willing to gamble your family’s home for a high-risk investment like a restaurant?
Why so volatile?
Variables. Any economist will tell you that when you introduce more and more variables into an equation, the end result may not always be what you want and could become quite foggy. So why do variables play such a big part in a restaurant’s success (or failure)?
The only variable of the restaurant industry that is similar to other industries such as retail is the effect of the swinging economy. A family of four dining out can cost up to three or four times more than cooking at home. When two rotisserie chickens at Wal-Mart costs $16 and will easily feed four people (with sides, $25), a family of four might expect to pay $50-90 at a restaurant for the same meal. When the economy declines, so do the opportunities for families to dine out. Dining out is for all intents and purposes a luxury. You don’t need to sit in a restaurant and spend $22 on a pasta alfredo. Pasta Roni sells an edible pasta alfredo for $4.95 a box.
However, there are three other variables that come to mind that affect the restaurant industry like no other industry on the planet and they quite often influence each other: weather, necessity and feelings.
To explain how weather, necessity and feelings affect the restaurant industry, in this analogy I will compare it to something that we all need and use on a daily basis: footwear. Specifically, I will compare it to a Footlocker Shoe Store. Every American needs shoes. When you need shoes, you know you need shoes. Whether you are noticing holes starting to form at your big toe or your favorite pair of kicks are beginning to lose it’s tread, you realize that in the near future you are going to have to buy shoes. That means getting in your car, actively going to Footlocker and purchasing a new pair of shoes. Should there be a rainstorm, you might reconsider going to the Footlocker tomorrow when the rain has subsided and decide to stay in to watch Survivor or I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. Tomorrow, you have the resolve to go buy those shoes at Footlocker and the stockholders of (FL) on the NYSE thank you.
As stated before, customers of a restaurant don’t necessarily need to eat at a certain restaurant. Because there are so many choices, a customer might one day have a craving for tacos. If your restaurant happened to specialize in Mexican fare, you would benefit from that particular craving. However, should there be a rainstorm, that person craving tacos might decide to stay in and order a pizza. The real difference is the feeling variable: that customer might have a different feeling and change their mind the next day about what they desire to eat. They have lost that craving for tacos, now crave lasagna and your Mexican restaurant loses out on the money that customer would have brought in because of the weather. People don’t necessarily change their feeling about shoes. They’re not going to change their mind and choose to purchase a jacket tomorrow because there was rain today; they’re still going to be resolved to buy shoes.
It seems that people are more willing to drive in poor weather to go shopping, but when they have to decide to eat at home or dine out, they will tend to eat at home more often.
Overhead
Unfortunately, not all restaurants can be located on the 7 1/2 floor of the Merton-Flemmer Building, so these business have to deal with an enormous overhead. Someone asked me a very interesting question about restaurant overhead in the “Submit Your Questions Here” section:
“How, in a restaurant chain setting, does a higher net sales lower COGS (cost of goods and services) when every venue in the chain has to buy the same products, and nothing but the same products, at the same price?”
To which I answered:
“Naturally, higher volume restaurants will generally use more product than a lower volume restaurant. Especially in a corporate chain restaurant where you cannot tailor the items you purchase and menu to the clientèle that you are serving. The COGS also account for the total cost of the goods that have to be thrown out, either because of overrings or going bad. A restaurant can never be certain which of their menu items customers will order, so they take past reports to determine the commonality of customers ordering a certain item and order goods accordingly. However, one week you might sell a lot of chicken, the next week a lot of beef. Because you now have to throw out all the extra chicken that has gone bad due to the demand in beef, your COGS rises.
In a higher volume restaurant, waste accounts for less COGS than a lower volume restaurant because the odds are that you will use that product regardless. Especially if say, you run out of the beef, because you ordered less than chicken which had sold more last week. You now have to 86 that item from the menu, forcing the customers to choose the chicken anyway. Therefore, your COGS decreases.”
So compared to a Footlocker that deals in products that are not perishable, a restaurant cannot just hold product for weeks and eventually sell it during a 1/2 price sale. If this were the case in a restaurant, I think you’d have quite a few very sick people.
In conclusion
Occasionally, I’ll drive down a certain busy thoroughfare in my city and look at this one particular restaurant building that has housed eight or nine restaurants in my lifetime. Renovations were being performed as a new concept restaurant was moving in after the previous Mexican restaurant had gone under after only three years. The other day, I was driving with a friend of mine who happens to manage a particularly successful chicken wing restaurant which apparently is looking to open a second location and said to him “you ought to suggest to Brian (chicken store owner, not his real name) to look into moving into there,” motioning to the concept restaurant, “that place will be gone in two years”.
An Essay on the Principle of [a] Population['s Cheapness].
There really is no reason to be cheap.
Let me be more clear, because there is a clear and definite difference between frugality and “complete and utter soul-crushingly cheap”. For example, a college student who eats Top Ramen mixed with pieces of diced deli meat six out of seven nights per week is frugal. This is most likely the case because college is expensive and their parents probably have failed to supply them with enough money to purchase food, which as is well known to be the 3rd most important purchase in a college student’s life after school supplies and of course, booze. Because, as we all know, college life without booze will lead to a miserable existence of professional success and most likely a better and attractive physique. Who would want that, anyway?
Being cheap, however, is quite unacceptable. “Cheap” can be summarized as “having the money to spend, knowing that letting go of a few extra dollars will not exactly ‘break the bank’, but choosing not to because it is your money and it should be protected like a feral cat protects his ownership of a week-old fish that was thrown out by the Chinese restaurant.”
The clear difference between the two is that being cheap comes with a complete disregard for anyone else. In regards to a restaurant, someone who is frugal may frequent a $4.99 pizza buffet in the late afternoon so they might save money by not exactly eating a lunch and dinner, but combine the two meals. Someone who is cheap, however, will bring a gallon freezer bag, hide it in a much larger bag and proceed to fill it with items from the buffet to save for later because “who will notice a couple extra wings missing?” Cheap people will often frequent “$15.95 All-You-Can-Eat” events and attempt to split the food when there is a clear sign that says that splitting is not allowed. You might be thinking that these people may not be able to afford two meals so they try to share, but why go dine out at a restaurant for $16, when Wal-Mart sells a whole rotisserie chicken for $8?
There is, however, something the two personality types do share in common: people who are either should not dine out. Food costs alone should be a deterrent, even without the notion of leaving a tip.
My favorite personal experience came from my first restaurant job, bussing tables at the seafood restaurant. A broken-looking gentleman came into the restaurant with his two young girls – looked to be about 7 and 4. We used to run a special where on Sundays, if you order an adult entree you would get a child entree free. So, this gentleman, thinking he was taking advantage of the special, ordered a child entree for his 7-year-old, a bowl of soup and an appetizer. Unbeknownst to him, he was being charged for the child entree because a bowl of soup and an appetizer does not constitute as an entree. By the way, his 4-year-old sat there eating bread her meal. So, when the bill came, he was quite surprised to find he had been charged for the child entree. It was quite obvious that he did not have enough money to pay for the bill, so after a whole eight minutes of self-deliberation, he decides to put the money in the book and run out the front door – leaving his two young children sitting at the table. The keen little 7-year-old quickly followed him out, but the 4-year-old was left at the table, crying for her daddy and eventually waddled out of the restaurant in tears. Father Of The Year Award, right there, ladies and gentlemen.
Recently, I called to my Facebook followers to submit their favorite stories about customers in their restaurants who were so unbelievably cheap, that it left an indefinite stain on their memory that not even the most powerful cleaner the late Billy Mays would pitch could clean. These stains are “Lady Macbeth” bad (Out, damn spot!). The best one came from Tucker Craig from Kansas City, MO.
“I managed a local bar and grill that offered a free burger on your birthday. A couple came in with their two children and said it was one of the kids birthdays, when they got their ticket for the remaining food they told me that it was their other child’s birthday in a couple months, and wanted me to give him a free burger that day so they didn’t have to come back in two months, after telling them that wasn’t possible and watching them complain, plus getting no tip, I canceled the free burger policy later that day. (with the exception of regular, tipping customers)”
I, Customer.
I’ve gone off on tirade-after-tirade about how I expect customers should behave in a restaurant, how to order and how to raise their children (without having any of my own) and the best thing is that after all that castigation, I still have hundreds-to thousands of you people reading this blog each day, so I must be doing something right or you people are masochists. I love you all. I suppose everything I’ve written, not once did I write about the particular topic discussed in this blog post, although it is probably important (or insignificant) that I write it. It’s not really about people wanting me to write this post, but over the past two years, I’ve written about my experiences as a server in the industry, but I’ve never discussed my experiences as a customer. I suppose I wrote a little bit about my dining experiences in “Why is it rude to want to enjoy your night out?”, but I never really discussed specifically what I’m like as a customer. And no, I’m not a complete asshole. In fact, I’m probably your ideal customer.
When I dine alone – which is not too often – nine times out of ten I’ll sit at the bar. Why? Because I know the bartender more often than not isn’t making $2.13 an hour and I take up only one stool when there are 6-7 more stools that could easily be filled. Also, there’s usually a T.V. to keep me entertained if the bartender is a guy. Sorry, but come on, really? Did anyone think I was a female? I prefer female bartenders – they’re nicer to look at. Also, as soon as I sit down, I’m looking at the menu, quickly glancing for keywords (or pictures) that I enjoy. My order is ready to go as soon as she comes back with my iced tea. I watch T.V., check up on my Blackberry or I read the paper while remaining pretty quiet. When the food comes, I eat while I watch T.V., check up on my Blackberry or read the paper, and occasionally will ask for a refill. When I’m done, I’m paid out and gone. 18-20% tip every time if my food comes out on time, it’s hot and I’m left alone. The last thing I want is a server who can’t take a hint. This is how every single-eater should be. If you’re dining by yourself during a busy lunch or dinner and you’re eating in the main dining hall, you’re limiting your server’s capability to make money.
The type of service I provide to my customers at my restaurant is exactly how I want my server to be when I dine out. A server should be able to instantly gauge the level of friendliness they should provide to their customers. Some people want to dine out and be treated in a very professional manner and some wish to be waited on by their bestest buddy in the whole world, cracking jokes and making fun times. Most of the time, I’m a very professional eater. I want my server to be attentive, get my food out on time and not over-extend their bounds by trying to be funny. Especially if I’m in a restaurant with a date, the last thing I want is my server trying to be funny. I’m funny as it is, but if my date thinks my server is funnier than I am, I’m in trouble. So, I don’t want my server attempting to be funny, telling me that my food “will be out in an hour”. That comes off like the last ten seasons of The Simpsons: kinda funny, but not so much.
Something else that I just don’t get that other servers do is the whole “crouch by your table” gig. I expect my server to stand up like an adult and talk to me like an adult. I wouldn’t expect a server to feel like they need to get into a crouch position next to a table unless the next sentence out of their mouth is “hey there Champ. What would you like to eat off the kids menu?” By the way, for those of you servers that do that, that’s got to be hell on your knees!
Lastly, I’ll leave you with a little story. A couple years ago, I went into a chain restaurant – I don’t want to get any calls from legal, so let’s call it “Chilley’s”. It was rather late, so I admit I should have been more thoughtful that the staff probably wanted to go home, but I had just gotten off of work. To make a long story short, the waitress that I got was the most un-attentive, careless server I’d ever had in my life. Not only was she short-tempered and rude, she did she not bring refills and half the food was cold. So, I sat there, with a half-eaten dinner waiting for this girl to even check on me to see how everything was. About 10 minutes goes by, so I ask a nearby server to speak to the manager (note: I did not get up and make a scene demanding to speak to the manager). I politely told the manager that I worked for another restaurant that was owned by the same corporate company and politely expressed my feelings towards the quality of service I received and told him I’d be filling out one of the surveys that I had a chance to win $10,000 if I filled out. After he comped my entree, my bill was a meager $4.83. I know I always talk about how you should leave at least something, even if you have bad service, but that was the only time I had ever left a $0.17 tip. I’m allowed to bend my own rules.
See, people, this is how you handle a situation like that. If you have bad service, you politely ask to speak to the manager and politely tell them about the situation. Unfortunately, not everyone can be a great customer. That’s why you send them to my blog.
Also, make sure you look “Servernotslave” on Facebook. I check it daily, so feel free to send messages.
How close is too close?
Most of my working life I’ve worked in a restaurant. I started when I was 16, bussing tables at a local sports bar and restaurant that eventually went under. I also dabbled a little bit in retail, telemarketing and even tried my hand at computers for a while, so I’m not too familiar with the corporate world or other kinds of employment. Growing up, I was always told to respect and be a “yes man” for my employers, and when the time comes to quit, I always put in my two weeks notice even if I abhorred working at that place. Perhaps that’s why I’ve always been regarded as a “good employee” by every employer that I’ve had. I was always told to look up to my bosses and never see them as an equal, because let’s face it, they’re not our equals.
I had a boss at a previous restaurant that was, in fact, younger than me. I know eventually I’ll get to the age where this is fairly commonplace, but I’m 26 years old. Having to look up to someone who was two years my younger was a strange concept to me. What actually made it strange to me was that I didn’t really know exactly how old this manager was, so I just assumed this manager was at least a few years older. I guess the authority adds a few years in my mind. This fact, accompanied by the other fact that I just recently learned that this manager frequently had sex with my co-workers really skewed my image of them. That and the other fact that they often found themselves in the arms of a cougar/sugar daddy could have also considered them to be a slut. Funny enough, I’m friends with this person on Facebook, and when they read this post, he/she will probably call me a “mother fucker” but eventually agree with the post (see, I’m trying to be fairly gender un-specific to protect their identity).
So, the questions started to boil in my brain about where the line is drawn in regards to how close restaurant management can be to their employers? It seems to me that the general consensus is that anything outside the restaurant is fair game as long as it’s not “official” or affects the work place – then it becomes a problem. So, I feel it’s rather common to go out to a bar with my co-workers after work and my manager will stop by to have a few drinks and pal around with us. I guess with my “good employee” upbringing that tells me that since I should follow every rule to the “T”, I would call this “fraternization”. But, on the other hand, fraternization is fairly accepting in the restaurant industry. My question is “why?”.
I suppose it really does have to do with what kind of environment is set in your workplace. Is everything a rigid, corporate-run clockwork or perhaps a laid back, locally owned hangout spot? I wouldn’t imagine you finding your general manager, who every waking minute is cataloged by “corporate” hanging out with the shlubs, risking having to write up a report the next day. I guess that’s why I enjoy working at locally-owned restaurants more. For lack of a better phrase, you can get away with more when the managers and owners are reachable and have a face, instead of the faceless “suits” that loom over the corporate world.
The only exception to the lackadaisical environment toward fraternization is any kind of sexual or emotional relationship between employer and employee. From what I’ve heard from other people is that a real relationship is “not okay”. It certainly does breed preferential treatment. Of course an employee that’s getting “special treatment” from the manager after hours in the produce cooler is going to be getting the better shifts and better customers, so naturally the co-workers are not going to be happy about that. That seems to be where the line is drawn. I’ve actually been witness to two co-workers having to quit because the co-worker and manager began dating. Happily enough, both times the couple ended up getting married and subsequently I was invited to both weddings.
I gave teapots.
A letter from your manager…
Restaurant managers, this one is for you. Everything you’ve ever wanted to say to your employees but can’t/don’t have the balls/are too mentally challenged to do so.
Dear Employees,
When you were hired, you were done so because we liked your demeanor as you presented yourself as a level-headed, hard-working individual that we could train and let you loose in the restaurant like a wind-up toy, trusting that you wouldn’t fuck anything up. It has come to our attention that there are certain things that need to be addressed, so I will do so in this letter.
Item #1. Professional Responsibility
We realize that in a restaurant industry, we provide a place of employment that is more relaxed in its hiring practices. We understand that drug users, alcoholics, felons, drug dealers, college students, beatniks, college drop-outs, high school seniors, and your occasional octogenarian can somewhat-easily find themselves employed by a restaurant such as ours. The important thing is to know that when you walk through those front double doors, you are an employee of the restaurant, are here to do a job and you must carry at least a smidgen of professional responsibility, even if you carry it in your man-purse (excuse me… canvas shoulder bag).
It is unacceptable to come into work being hungover – or still drunk – and expect special treatment. You better suck it up, do your job, and I dare you to let my customers smell the alcohol on your breath that’s only three hours old. I will not accept your excuses when you call-in claiming you are sick on Saturday or Sunday morning. It just isn’t happening. You decided that you’d continue to drink well into the night knowing full-well that you’d need to go to work in the morning. I have no sympathy for anyone who has a blatant disregard for responsibility.
Item #2. My word is final
You may have been working at the restaurant longer than I have, but there is a reason they hired me to fill a manager position and not promote you. Figure it out (if you need to, refer to Item #1). When I tell you to do something, you say “yes, sir” and go do it like the trained monkey you are. I’m not going to worry about your complaining about having to do it, but I’ll put you in the shitty section for a month if I hear it. If you have gripes about how things are run, mention it at the shift meeting or write an email. We’ll be sure to write it down and eventually forget about it or throw it away. Ownership/Corporate wants things done a certain way and if they see you doing things different, it’s my head that’s on the platter. I am not willing to risk my steady paycheck and benefits on an argument of how the salt and pepper shakers should be placed on the table.
Item #3. You are replaceable
If Item #1 and 2 are too difficult for you to grasp, I will find a way to terminate you (that is, if you aren’t unionized), or make your life so much of a living hell at this restaurant, you will want to quit on your own. You will make no money and I will keep you here until close, sitting on your ass (or helping the bussers), making your $2.13/hr because I am “afraid we might get a late pop”. You will grow to hate me and I have already set up a camera watching my car so I’ll know it was you if I get keyed.
I get hundreds of applications every month from your clone, begging for a job to pay their way through college/support their kids/because they need a work-release. I can train anyone to do your job. Sure, you might be better at it because you’ve been doing it so long, but a new hire is eager to please me and will mop the entire restaurant floor until 2 a.m. if I asked him to (at least for a few weeks). With the right training, he might even be a better employee than you, because he doesn’t have your seniority-complex.
We’re running a business here. So, if I find you are losing my employers money, I’ll just throw a dart at my corkboard filled with applications and replace you.
Remember when I called you a trained monkey? Well, it seems that they can train a monkey to do your job.
Sincerely,
Your manager
