Most Waiters are Foodies.

This world is not very big when you really think about it in certain terms. Even though there are 6.8 billion people in this world, there are only two genders – male and female; six classifications of race - American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian, Black or African American, Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander, White and Hispanic; and roughly 4200 religions (I’m not listing those). So, when you think about it these kinds of terms, you tend to realize that there are more people in this world that are like you than you realize. Whether this world needs another one of you, is another question entirely.

The same holds true with types of restaurant-goers. Generally, most people fall into the “average customer” category: the “Christianity of Customers” if you look at it in terms of percentages (33% of the world). But, every now and then you get someone who doesn’t exactly fall into that category. More often than not, it’s not a good thing.

So, I wrote a list detailing the worst groups of people to wait on. If you see yourself in one of these groups, don’t be offended be enlightened. Take away these observations and learn from them.  Anyway, here are the top 5 worst groups of people to wait on in my personal opinion:

5. Foodies – These are the people who are amateur chefs who think they know food. They stock their kitchen with stainless steel cookware, and spend half of their time watching the Food Network. They’re also the people who believe going on a Fox Network reality TV show hosted by a raving, British lunatic is the pinnacle of Chef-dom. These are the people who constantly criticize the food, send food back often enough to enrage the kitchen and then leave little notes on the table after they get up on how to improve the dishes. Waiters are often foodes because they understand how the restuarant operates and cooks their food. Often waiters will go to other restaurants and compare that restaurant with their own, I know I do.

4. Needy People. I know sometimes you just can’t eat your meal without something specific, like a fork for instance. But, if you refuse to continue to eat your food until your waiter brings you your sixth side of ranch dressing, then you fall into this category. Needy people generally require a lot of attention, which takes away time from other tables. The real downside to this is that their experience is hinging on whether or not their needs are fulfilled in a short period of time. Twelve refills, six sides of ranch, an extra spoon, and each time they ask for one thing, and only one thing. That’s a lot of extra trips, and my ankles are starting to hurt.  Do you really need that twelfth refill of Coke?

3. Children. I will dedicate an entire post to the fact that it is a RESTAURANT not a playground later, but to keep this long post short, I’ll break it down for you. Not all children are terrible to wait on. There are many very well-behaved children and they are a real delight to wait on, but most children don’t care if they are messy eaters. They’ll leave food all over the table, on the floor and on the seats. They’ll knock over drinks on accident and guess what mom and dad? You don’t have to clean it up because you’re not home. You have a waiter to do it for you! Oh happy day! So, after you’ve said thank you, gotten up from your disgusting table and walked out the door, the waiter or busser has to come by and clean up your child’s mess because you don’t know how to teach your child how to behave in a restaurant. To make it worse, I hope that you compensate me generously for having to clean up your demon-spawn’s mess, only to open the book and see a $4 tip. Thanks a bunch. See ya next week!

2. Rude People. This one is a no-brainer here, people. Noone likes to deal with rude people, especially in a volatile environment like a restaurant. These are the types of people who get drinks “accidentally” dropped on them, or cause servers to lose their jobs because they went off on them. I don’t really have to explain rudeness to anyone, but it’s even more prevalent in a restaurant because there is that social factor. These are also the types of people that treat waiters like they are personal slaves, not waiters in the restaurant. You can be a rude person, but as long as you have a job that keeps you out of a social environment, most people don’t know. But, in a restaurant? Boy, you better watch out.

1. People who think they’re special. This is probably the most annoying groups of people anywhere. These people believe that rules don’t apply to them because they’re either “the customer who pays the restaurant’s bills” or “a guy who knows the owner”.  Often these people will make an extra effort to get the server to bend the restaurant policies for them, or bring them different things for free. Not to mention, these are also the people that come into the restaurant five minutes before close and say “oh, great! We made it in time!” Also, many times these people fall into the Rude People category, which makes for a very nasty situation. You’ll read in a later post about how “In a restaurant, you are not as special as you think you are”.

Luckily, most people fall into the “average customers” category, but certain experiences can make them lean towards one of these five groups. If you read these lists and find yourself among one of them, pay attention to your actions because you soon will find yourself consistently not receiving the proper service you deserve.