The Do’s and Don’ts of Dining Out.

I am going to list some of the do’s and don’ts of dining out. Now, this is not just a list of proper restaurant etiquette, it’s also a list of things that we as servers like and don’t like customers to do. Keep these things in mind, because if you do some of the don’ts, you might end up getting ignored or worse.

1. Do always be polite. Restaurant personnel are people too. Just because they are trying to make you happy, and serve you for a brief period of time, you wouldn’t disrespect them if you saw them out on the street. Yelling at your waiter because your steak is under cooked is not proper etiquette. Politely get your waiter’s attention, and notify him or her of the situation and ask them to correct it. That is all.

2. Don’t draw attention to yourself in a wild manner. Waving your hand at your waiter from across the room makes you look like you have Downe Syndrome. If you have Downe Syndrome, then I suppose it’s okay. If you want your waiter’s attention, be patient and watch your water. Try to make eye contact and make a silent gesture for them to come to you. An upward nod, or a lift of a finger is enough to get their attention.

3. Do remember your waiter’s name. Although your waiter is probably required to being with something like, “Good evening, my name is Tim and I’ll be taking care of you tonight”, that doesn’t mean you should completely ignore him. I say this for two reasons: one, if you need something specific and your waiter isn’t around, ask another waiter for Tim. Telling another server that your waiter was a 6 foot fat guy with glasses isn’t exactly nice; second, if you enjoy your dining experience with Tim ask for him again the next time you go to that restaurant. It will get to him immediately from the hostess that someone asked for Tim and he will probably treat you better than any other of his customers.

4. Don’t pester your waiter. If your server is standing next to another table, addressing them about the menu or drinks, don’t attempt to get their attention. Tugging on their shirt or saying “excuse me” over and over isn’t going to get you anything and it’s only going to infuriate the other customers. That is their time with the server. You have to share. You learned this in kindergarten, didn’t you? Going back to #1, be polite and wait until your waiter is done talking to them and say their name, “Tim”. This will automatically draw attention to you while still being polite.

5. Do halt all conversations when your waiter approaches the table. Whether you’re discussing an election with your companions or talking on the cell phone, your waiter is there to get you happily fed and out the door. We don’t want to hear about a mole you had removed and it’s awkward for us to stand there and wait for a break in the conversation to interject about a possible appetizer order. We don’t want to be rude by interrupting you, so make the time to let us do our job. Just stop mid-sentence, address your waiter, and return to your conversation when he walks away.

6. Don’t complain about how long your food is taking. We know your food is taking a long time and we understand that if you become unhappy, the tip you’ll leave us is going to be lower. From the moment that we take your order and put it into the POS (Point of Sale machine), your food is completely out of our hands. There is nothing that we can do to speed up your meals. Us annoying the expo about how long table 202 is taking is fruitless. The only thing we can do is ask our manager if we can give you something cheap and quick to tide you over; a bowl of chips, or a cup of soup. But again, revert to #1 about this. Don’t demand it, politely ask your waiter if it’s possible.

7. Do compensate your waiter if you linger. Your waiter probably has three or four tables in his or her section to make their money for the night. If your dinner was $30 and you left a $6 tip, but decided to chat and drink coffee for the rest of the night, that means that the server made only $6 that entire night on one table. They probably could have turned that table over three or four more times in the time that you decided to sit there. That’s a loss of an average of $20-$30. If you realize that you have taken an absurd amount of time (anything longer than 1 hour for lunch, 1 1/2 hours for dinner), leave an extra tip for your waiter to make up for it. It’s rude because you are basically telling us that you don’t care about our livelihood. Your coffee conversation is more important than me being able to feed myself or pay my bills.

8. Do leave a tip based on service. 15% tip is average in our country. 20% is a tip given for exceptional service. If your food was cold or took forever to get to you, but your waiter was extremely helpful and did everything in their power to make you happy, you should tip them according to the excellent service they gave you. Now, if your waiter ignored your drinking glasses, took forever to talk to you, and your food was cold, then you should probably talk to the manager about it. The manager will probably comp you for the poor time you had and this will be one of those times to leave a shitty tip. Remember, tip based on your server’s performance, not the restaurant.

9. Don’t walk out with the wrong copy of the ticket. I can’t tell you how many times that it’s happened that a customer wasn’t thinking and walked out with the Restaurant Copy of the bill. You know, the important one with the tip and total on it. Although you may have left us an amazing tip, we don’t get it because you took the wrong copy. Pay attention, and take the Customer Copy.

10. Do have fun. Dining out is an enjoyable experience and it should be fun. Order drinks, get appetizers, or splurge on your meals. You can even make jokes with your waiter. I’m sure they have some really humorous anecdotes they can tell you to keep you entertained. The happier you seem to your waiter, the easier it is for us to gauge how to handle you. Most of us will handle an unhappy customer very delicately, whereas a happy customer we want to take real good care of and keep you happy. Your bartender might slip you a drink, or add a little extra bourbon in that Old Fashioned of yours.

I hope this list of Do’s and Don’ts help you have a good time, because all we want is that: for you to have a good time. Eat up!