Parents, the restaurant is NOT your child’s playground.
Unless your idea of dining out with your children involve a ball-pit, some tickets won by playing games that cost quarters, or a big birthday cake with a singing clown the title of this post is absolutely true. There is a reason that your local Applebee’s or Chinese buffet do not have a slide or video games. These places are to be respected as they are public places of business, not your family kitchenette.
I’m sure some parents really do enjoy bringing their children out to eat; they get some good food cooked by someone else and no mess to clean up because there’s someone else to do it. But there really is a right way and a wrong way to bring your children out to eat. I had one particular instance where I was waiting on this young couple and their three daughters a couple months ago. They were little angels with maize-colored hair ranging from two to six years of age. Unfortunately, the parents ignored them for most of the meal, talking to themselves. These three little angels shed their halos for horns, and proceeded to decimate the area around the table. Torn and partly-chewed food was strewn all over the table and on the floor, drinks were spilled and not attended to, and the sugar caddies were emptied. Not to mention that the salt and pepper shakers were also liberated of their contents all over the table. The parents, obliviously continued their conversation. When the two eldest daughters took off their shoes and started to run around and under the table, the parents continued their conversation. Even when one of the girls sat in a chair and the other girl used another chair to push her around the dining room, the parents continued their conversation. When they finally left, they did not apologize for the way their children acted, nor did they apologize for the disgusting mess that now had to be cleaned up by yours truly. And of course, they were shitty tippers. The real question is whether or not the parents will be able to control their children later in life, when they rebel against the rules set by adults.
When I was a child if I had acted in any kind of disrespectful way in a restaurant my mother would drag me to the bathroom, put me against a wall, point her finger in my face and say something along the lines of “if you do not sit still and quiet for the rest of this meal, you will get a spanking when you get home.” Parents these days are so afraid to punish their children that they would rather let them run amok in a well-established restaurant than have their kids upset.
Now not all parents are like this. I have many times seen some very well-behaved children, and by no means will I go off on a tangent about how terrible it is to wait on children. However, if you as parents do not possess the ability to control your children at a restaurant then at least you must realize that you should compensate your waiter. We are not your maids. Do your children make this much mess at home? If they did, you must be miserable having to clean that up and I feel sorry for you.
So, here’s what you should do: keep your children in line or don’t bring them out to eat. If you should go out to eat with your children and they leave a disgusting mess, apologize to your waiter for their having to clean up after you and leave a bigger tip than you normally would have.
It can sometimes be difficult to find time for you and your spouse to go out to eat for a nice lunch or dinner somewhere while leaving your child at home with a sitter, but if the neighborhood tween is unavailable because she has dance practice and you have to bring the brats along, do be sure to keep your child occupied doing something that doesn’t make you and your family look like they’re disgusting pigs.
Totally agree. Last evening I went out to a posh Chinese restaurant and the very same thing happened. Three children ran around my table till i felt dizzy and a little nauseous. Needless to say my nice evening out was totally ruined.
http://costech.wordpress.com/
How fucked up is it that it’s actually rude for US as humans to tell a parent to shut their kid up, and the parents just let their kids run around like they own the place?? You may have sparked a new topic, my friend… lol
I have been a server far too long, I guess, because I have ABSOLUTELY no trouble telling parents to rein in the kids. Sometimes they are shocked, sometimes they are offended, but they almost always comply. Why? because of two things: They are embarrassed, and the surrounding customers almost always give me an audible, “Thank you”. That’s the bottom line for me; I have other customers needs to meet as well, and if I have to sacrifice one for the other, the one with the unruly child is my choice!
I hate that “How dare you judge how I raise my children,” attitude. I’m not judging how you raise your children, idiot, because I’m too busy being annoyed by them! Oh, and no, I don’t care how much a babysitter costs or why you brought the fruit of your loins with you to dine tonight; all I care about is that I, as a manager, am having to have this awkward and uncomfortable conversation with you because either your children are causing material damage to the restaurant or because other guests (sometimes multiple other guests) are complaining to me about your children.
Product of the decade maybe century-those plastic static cling placemats for kids-they have activity stuff on them and they can eat off the table when they are too young for plates and utensils. Provided they can stay on the mat you simply have to pry up the corner and roll it up into a ball.
I hate those damn things…mainly because, in my experience, they’re always used by the germaphobic snobbish parents. You know, the ones that treat my restaurant like a swirling cesspool of rabid germs yearning for new infant flesh (which my restaurant is decidedly NOT). If its soo damn dirty, take your little bundle of joy somewhere else!!!
I don’t work in food service, but I do work at a major tourist site so I am not unfamiliar with the grind of peppy customer service. And I am generally of the opinion that young children should not be allowed anywhere outside of their own homes. But this blog also made me think of dinner out with my grandfather. He thinks it’s hilarious to pull one end off of paper straw wrappers and then blow the wrappers like missiles at nearby strangers’ children. The entire area becomes littered with straw wrappers. I try to surreptitiously apologize to the wait staff for the mess without making Grandpa feel bad. As for the bewildered parents of the children who are my grandfather’s dinner-time targets, I am too embarrassed to say anything.
Having been both a waitress and a parent, I completely agree. Either control your children, go to a restaurant designed for families and children or stay home. Even at the restaurants designed for young children, I assure you: the waitstaff will GREATLY appreciate your children being well-behaved.
:huggles:
~watergirl~
In the past couple years, I have moved up the food chain (no pun intended) to a restaurant manager and, let me tell you, confronting parents of unruly children is like talking to a brick wall. They are absolutely indignant.
“You don’t tell me how to raise my child!”
“Well, I never even implied that, Ma’am. I just think it would be a good idea if your 4 or 5 year old son stopped unplugging and plugging-in the twinkle lights that we have wrapped around the banister. Its just not very safe.”
Or the parents who never left their table, but let their 5, 8 and 10 year-olds play out front of the restaurant (which is in a downtown locale) for 45 minutes at 8 o’clock at night. The whole time I was secretly hoping that the kids would get kidnapped. Seriously. that is how kidnapping happens. Of course, the parents would tell the police that their children were only outside for a minute.
Or the mother who let her two little girls run around our back patio barefoot and playing hide and seek underneath all of the tables (occupied and unoccupied) on a very busy Saturday night.
I dread having to confront those parents because, as you can imagine, they act just like their unruly children probably will in their adult years. They are always supremely insulted, shocked and surprised.
The only reason I say anything is because I don’t want my restaurant to be held liable when little Timmy eletrocutes himself or little Jennifer and Jessica slice open their feet with bits of broken glass.
Oh, and when the parents are telling me how they don’t understand and I shouldn’t tell them what to do with their children, I reply, “Well, if you don’t allow your children to do that at Applebee’s or McDonald’s, why do you think it is appropriate here?”
totally agree with this one…actually had a woman come up to me and bitch at me because she felt uncomfortable because her kids were running around and disturbing the guests around them.am i not the only one who sees something wrong with this picture?parents need to learn to control their kids.
Why do you want the parents to make any effort in raising their kids? Isn’t it a better way the way it is? Kids are raised like animals, they become monsters. They disrupt their own family, use drug, buy guns and stick up banks and 7 / 11. This whole process gives plenty of work to the police the jails etc.. Without counting great way to make plenty of moula for the lawyers and the judges.
Isn’t that a perfect world. What else do you want?
I once had a mother take all of her friends kids out to eat at the upscale restaurant I worked at. At one point her kid threw up all over his plate just as I walked by. She grabbed my arm as I went to go get a buss tub for it and literally handed me the plate of puked up mini corn dogs and diet coke. She left me 2 dollars on a $70 tab.
I also had a table where a seven year old girl peed herself in her seat in the middle of dinner and didn’t tell anyone. You could smell it from the other side of the restaurant and the the parents completely ignored her and left a similarly bad tip. I had to take the chair outside and hose it off and scrub carpet for 30 minutes.
deep breathing exercises have done wonders for me needless to say:)
Although this is only somewhat related, I have gripes about the all the problems children cause. I work at a quick-service restaurant, and when you order a kid’s meal you can switch the toy for a larger drink or fries. We don’t even make any money on kids meals as it is, but when you trade the toy it even costs more. I absolutely loathe it when 17-year old teenage girls buy one (For themselves) and switch out the toy. Sometimes it’s in drive thru and I just hope and think that “oh she’s just buying it for her child”, but no, she gets to the window, and it just her. And on top of it, she orders diet dr pepper which isnt in the soda tower in drive through so I have to walk all the way over to the other one to fill up her stupid 8-oz kids drink. It pisses me off.
I work at a sit-down pizza restaurant, and not only does your post ring true, but so do all of the comments. I’ve really seen it all.
Making the situation of hellion children on the loose even worse is that my restaurant is the biggest pizza joint in town. We are just ending “soccer season”–two weeks of screaming, hyperactive children who are pumped on sugar and caffeine because their parents not only allowed them to consume all of the soda and dessert they could in place of, oh I don’t know–pizza–but then give them twenty dollars worth of quarters for them to play. And by play I mean cut them loose to destroy the remainder of the restaurant and game room so the adults have time to talk. As if they hadn’t spent the entire season chatting on the sidelines.
But what really gets me is that these people DO NOT TIP. Granted, you have to get your own soda, but we do the rest. Thirty individual families ordering thirty individual meals and not one tip. Twenty dollars of quarters for loads of bouncy balls that get left behind, sure no problem, but a tip for the waitress who has to clean up the huge mess you leave behind? Not a penny.
My one consolation is how I deal with the children who ignore my polite pleas to stop running: I stand off to the side as they come barreling through, and step into their path at the last moment. When they bounce off of me onto the floor and look up at me, stunned, I apologize while courteously reminding them that I did ask them not to run. Works almost every time.
My point: I am a waitress, not a babysitter. They at least get monetary compensation for picking up after your children.
That is a perfect idea, just step in front of the little bastards as the walk in front of you. Generally when I’m on the floor of my upper scale steakhouse I’m equipped with a 3o pound tray full of either drinks or 10 dirty plates. so when this poor kid comes barreling down on me, if this over head weight comes down on him- THAT MIGHT BE IT FOR POOR BILLY. LMAO
But I do have something else to add on this subject. Just two nights ago I was serving this table of 3 adults consisting of a mom, dad and friend, then two young sisters ages 3 and 5. These girls, after only sitting and eating for about 20 minutes began to raise the volume. They began FIGHTING EACH OTHER WITH A SOME TONGS THEY FOUND ON THE TABLE AND STARTED TO SCREAM. ONCE THE TONGS BECAME BORE SOME, they moved to playing tag and wrestle and chase on the main floor of this fine dining establishment. The girls started running with knives, then pushed chairs and all meanwhile creaming at the very top of their lungs. Meanwhile the parents are oblivious, just chatting amongst the chaos. 25 minutes into the madness the parents decide to take control!! They grab their kids after a brief chase and set them down to a nice bowl of ice cream at 9 pm!!!!!!!!!!!!
These kids proceeded to vibrate out of their chairs and onto the walls and ceiling. Never in my life have i seen such disrespect and lack of discipline. O yea and more thing before the family left the girls threw some salad grabbing tongs off the salad and sides bar ant threw them on the ground. The $200 bill was graciously left with a $10 tip. What a surprise!!
What’s the best way, as an owner or manager, to handle people who can’t control their kids?
We had a nightmare customer a couple weeks ago and when my husband spoke to her in the parking lot, instead of making a scene in the dining room, she accused him of being a racist and even came back into the restaurant to yell at him. Obviously, she’s nuts. But is there ever a good way to handle this?
I’ve been a manager and a waiter for a few decades now. The only way to ensure that you get true cooperation in this case is to stress the child safety issue. The best way is to nip it in the bud. When the kids begin to get too loud or unruly, let them know right then that it’s not appropriate. After the fact is really too late. When it doesn’t work, and there have been times I’ve been called unprintable names, I just remember that I have a roomful of customers to consider, and can’t let one group take advantage over the others. This goes for unruly teens, drunks, as well as kids.
Just a parent here, and we have made our kids behave in dining/shopping places since they could sit up. Or else we took them outside until they could act correctly. Simple, and it worked. We also had the kids pick up anything they dropped on the floor before we left. Many servers were stunned to see that, and some objected! From the beginning the kids understood they were to behave and not make a mess, because their behavior affected others around them. Many parents don’t care, it is easier to ignore the problems.
I want to let all of you that work in dining/shopping places know that some of us do understand your dilemma, and we really REALLY do appreciate it when a server or manager steps in and asks parents to control the kids. We have left bigger than the normal 20% tips before when we have seen this happen. Unfortunately, the only people that can say anything is you guys. I know it is hard to do, and you get abuse from it, but PLEASE keep it up!
your consideration of our “dilemma” is noble, but you have to understand there is a two-headed monster at work behind the scenes. Servers have to delicately balance telling it like it is and not offending a guest. Oftentimes, restaurant owner/managers will have a higher tolerance than a server b/c they aren’t directly dealing with these problem tables, and plus, they earn a salary as opposed to gratuity (they get their money regardless) so they’ll tolerate way more. Now if you have the misfortune of dining near a table of bad ass kids, if your table and all the other tables around them complain and do so loudly, the managers will have no choice but to either ask the parents to chill their kids out, or leave
I work at a dennys, and while it is the job of the manager to help protect the customers’ dining experiences, the servers’ complaints mean nothing to them. On kids eat free, there are usually 8 million little rascals tumbling around everywhere, so one bad table will just get a shrug from the manager. Only if the customers complain will they finally do something. Now, this has nothing to do with incompetent management. We as a staff are forbidden to say anything that might be offensive, and since we have out surveys that go directly to franchise via the web, it makes it even harder, especially since our company has the ‘dont like it? i can hire 10 more people by the time you walk out the door’ take on things, we cant do anything about it. but yes, if the other tables are complaining then the manager has no choice. :/
on a side note DONT LET YOUR UNDER-12 KIDS RUN AROUND TO THE BATHROOM BY THEMSELVES>>>>THEY USUALLY END UP IN A SERVER-ISLE OR THE PASSTHRU. FAIL. i dont know how many trays/pots of coffee/knives/300 degree skillets it will take for parents to realize this, but damn. do you let your kids run around the kitchen and dining room at home when you are cooking over the stove? taking that huge steaming-hot turkey out for thanksgiving? holding your own cup of coffee in the morning? no! you dont want to drop it on them and hurt them. neither do we. bottom line? if the bathroom is not in your dining room, escort them. often times, they think its funny to sneak into where they dont belong, like any other kid in the world who is doing something they shouldnt, and they do it repeatedly because the parents either dont care or dont notice. It might be dennys, but we still have heavy, searing skillets and varied sharp objects…and we cant see under those trays…
I once had a man and woman come into my bar/steakhouse at 8 o’clock on a Saturday night when we had a live band playing with their 9 children, yes NINE. The place was packed. The mother bitched me out for 1) not having 3 high chairs available and 2) the music being too loud for her young kids’ ears. Umm…next time try the McD’s drive through??
I have been working in the food service/ restaurant/ bar industry for sixteen years. It is a continuous learning experience, that is why I have stuck with it, even through all of the days of wanting to punch people in the throats and/ or find their workplaces to “harass them back”.
The main thing that keeps me in the service industry is the awesomeness of the GOOD customers. I have seen some walking (running, screaming, filthy, overflowing with an undeserved sense of entitlement) advertisements for birth control. I have ALSO waited on a three-year-old who could order for herself, using appropriate ‘pleases’ and ‘thank-yous’. She even told me a couple of jokes, which were nicely executed. I have had a young man (under 10) sit at my bar, order a Shirley Temple with a side of extra cherries, and tip (better than some adults), all while acting the perfect gentleman. There are children who behave beautifully in public, but it is entirely due to the parents’ guiding. If your child misbehaves in public, it is your fault. I will not accept the, “oh, he’s such a little dickens” excuse. Trust me, I have a lot of free time to observe human behavior while you’re ‘camping out’ at my largest table.
What pisses me off about waiting on kid parties is the parents. Even if the kids are normal and relatively quiet and I don’t have to clean up much extra than their coloring books and crayons, the parents seem to believe that the kid’s meal(s) are not included in the total check price. It kills me when I get a $5 tip on a table with 2 adults and three children only to examine the check and realize they tipped the 10-20% on the adult’s meals, but carefully deducted the three kids meals from the tipable check total.
Or when the college students come into the restaurant and point to the kid’s meal they want to order, when clearly under their finger in the menu it says you have to be under 12 to order, only to get mad at me because I follow the restaurant’s policy and stiff me. AMAZING
Last week I had 3 mothers come in for drinks after long day of shopping -I work at a restaurant at a very large shopping center/major tourist attraction. They had 6 kids among the 3 of them and all they wanted were beverages and ice cream sundaes for the kiddies (ugh, right?) Well, they were quite enjoyable to say the least and when they were done at my table I thought all were gone. I went to the table to buss it off, and I see one of the moms bent over picking things up from the floor all around my table. I just stared are her in awe. That’s right, she was picking up after not just her little girl, but the rest of the children also… I just thought that was nice.. it doesn’t happen often!
This one time I had a party of 8 people it was grandparents the parents some other couple and two kids. You could tell that they were siblings from the way they acted around each other. Well the girl was about 10ish and she was poliet as can be with yes ma’am no ma’am please and thank you even cracked a few jokes with me. On the other hand her little brother that was about 6ish was hell on wheels! He was like I want this I want that. Flat out screaming at me while I was trying to talk to some one else at the table. I paused with a very aggitated face was like I’m sorry I didnt catch what you said can you repeat your self? At that point in time I just wanted to be like look tell your kid to shut up or I will!
It was crazy how different these two children are! I have neices and nephews and if they were to ever at like that little boy did we would have taken them to the bathroom for a good hard talking to! I’m also for telling other people to shut their kid up when they are being obnoxious if they are told that enough I would hope they would learn!
My husband and I were enjoying a wonderful dinner when suddenly we were joined by a little girl approximately 4 years old. She was cute and sweet and being totally ignored by her family. She was walking around our table trying to talk to us.
I politely told her that she shouldn’t talk to strangers and should rejoin her family. After more than a few minutes of various tries at telling her to PLEASE go rejoin her family and after understanding that her parents were glad to have “babysitters” for the night, I cleared my throat to get the families attention. Then, in a nice, polite tone, I told the parents that I charged $15.00 an hour to babysit and at the present time I would happily have their wonderful daughter sit with us, if they would accept the fee, or the child could rejoin her family. The parents chose the later. (and the little girl DID sit and not walk around the rest of the time)
We are parents of 5, grandparents of 7 (so far). We love our family and regularly take them to establishments that were created for children. But when we go out, we always ask for the “no child” section and also ask that, if possible, no children be seated near us. We haven’t had a problem since.
As a side note, when smoking was allowed in restaurants, we used to ask to sit in the smoking area, although we didn’t smoke, just because it was more likely to have less children.
I’ve worked on and off at various resturants for about six years, and spent another four or so working in retail. In essense, I absolutely hate the general public. Odly enough though, my two favorite “resturant stories” happened at a local Ihop, which I’ve never worked at, while I was employed by an archaeology firm (blissfully believing I would never have to deal with customers again).
One day me and a friend were having lunch, having arived a little early to avoid the insane rush that noon causes in all of our local resturants. Not long after we arived a pair of women, I’m guessing mother and daughter, along with a young boy and young girl come in and set down just out of eyesight but close by. The children were not well behaved by any stretch of the imagination, but were far better than some I’d seen in the past. At one point though I hear the mother do the whole “ok Timmy, you listen to me and calm down…one…two…three” and right as she got to three the boy shouted “BLAST OFF” and lept from his seat to begin jogging laps around the main dining area. Me and my friend held it together for all of a second and a half before we blew up laughing.
Another time, same Ihop, same friend, just different table, we were next to a family that we had seen in the resturant several times and had conversed with a little. As I’m talking to my friend I can see the father of the family next to us getting red in the face. I stop paying attention to me and my friends conversation and start listening to what’s going on with our neighbors and hear the man’s son singing somewhat quietly to himself as he eats…”mommy loves another guy, momy loves another guy”. I think I pulled something internally trying not to laugh out loud.
I manage a nice waterfront restaurant with lot’s of windows, I have had parents just sit and ignore their kids while they color the windows, lick the window’s pour their drinks down the windows. We also have alot of stairs and I hate it when the kids are running up and down them while the staff is working, eventually some one will trip or fall with hot coffee or a tray full of food and I can already guess that the parents will say that our staff should have been paying closer attention to where they were going, we did have a parent a couple years ago come in and yell about her stupid kid who had been sitting on our deck and slapping the planters eventually getting stung by a bee, she said that we were irresponsible for letting such a thing happen and wanted their meal comped and that they were never coming back, Hallalua!! I sometimes think that its not the kids who are bad, it the bad parents and their bad parenting skilld that bring all this on, again I feel you need a license to parents.
Amen!
I am often complimented on my young childrens’ behavior in restaurants – by waiters and other custmomers alike. And I do my best to tidy up the table – and even the floor if food ws dropped – before we leave. But I still believe in addiding $1 per child to the standard 20% tip because of the extra work they might create. More if the waiter or waitress is nice to my children.
I have worked in the hotel industry for 9 years, 6 and half of which were spent working the second and third (graveyard) shifts as a Front Desk supervisor and manager at a hotel front desk. (I’ve worked in accounting ever since due to a bad knee and strong desire not to deal with customers except through the safety barrier of a phone line)
I’ve been reading these responses and been having a good laugh. I’ve noticed that quite a few of you have asked the question, “What is the polite way to handle this?”
The security staff and I found a great solution to this situation the second year into my career – subtlely allow the offending customers to overhear you and your coworker discussing a similar situation and how it is affecting the other customers.
For parents with kids who were either acting up either in the rather upscale dining room or were currently trashing the hotel room while the parents were subsequently getting trashed in the bar, the staff and I started doing the following:
1. Find an empty spot within earshot of the offending customers and act like two co-wokers casually discussing anything:
Coworker #1: “Oh, did you notice the kids in room 1213? They’re making a mess of the room.”
Coworker #2: “Really, where are their parents?”
Coworker #1: “Down in the bar. I just hope what happened last month to these other guests doesn’t happen again.”
Cowoker #2: “Really, what happened?”
Coworker #1: “While the parents were in the bar, the kids had a water fight/broke a sprinkler head (etc) and they had to pay a $300 damage fee.”
Then the two of us who look over, faux embarrassed at the offending parents, and then scurry off, “mistakenly realizing” that we were overheard.
Nine times out of ten, the offending parents quickly paid their tab and returned to their rooms.
For the restaurant, we had the conversation be a discussion between a busser and/or server and the floor supervisor, mentioning that a CEO or other VIP was at a nearby table was annoyed at the racket the kids were making.
This never back fired, excpet for the parents who were too drunk to remember their own room number.
My husband and I genuinely make the effort (on the rare occasions that we do get out) to ensure that our own 3 year old child is well-behaved……and if she is not, then we get our food wrapped to go and we leave the restaurant. We have really only had to do this twice. For the most part, my daughter will sit quietly and eat her meal neatly–because we have a few rules, namely that we act like a lady and we don’t make more work for other people.
However, my sister is like the parents in the original post–she just ignores her kids, even when the restaurant staff point out obvious safety issues. To her credit, she usually cleans up rigorously and tips generously (30-40 percent), but still….it’s just rude and unsafe to have a 5 year old boy running around a small restaurant where waiters and busboys are carrying large trays of food. Come on! (And yet, when I tried to tell my nephew that, my sister–NOT the parent mind you–scolded ME and provoked an argument about it!)
The worst is when we all go out together with my sister and her kids. It doesn’t matter if it’s fast food, counter-service casual, or table service. God forbid we ever did fine dining! The bad behavior is like a rash. It spreads like wildfire and then my husband and I have to lay down the rules to my child ALL over again.
Personally, it’s just a matter of respect. I think that if you cannot teach it to your child, don’t take them out….or stick to places like Burger King. But even there you have to kinda clean up after yourself. But maybe that’s because my husband and I worked as servers and nobody else in our family ever did.
Anyway, happy holidays!
What I don’t understand is why management doesn’t do anything about the obnoxious family. I have actually gotten up and left a restraunt because of unruly children disturbing my dinner. When I say something to management about why I’m leaving, they apologize and say there is nothing they can do. How about asking the family to leave? Would you really rather have them there than my family? We are quiet, leave the table (and floor clean), are polite and we leave a good tip. It seems to me that they would rather make less money, have more work accomadating the obnoxous family than to have my business.
Pam:
As a manager, I think I can address your question. If you take the opportunity to bring the issue to a manager’s attention while you are dining, we can discreetly address the issue with the offending parents. Many times, we are truly hoping that someone will give us the premise to address the issue. Oftentimes, if no guests are complaining, many managers will wrongly assume that the child is not a disruption and take no action. When, however, we have a guest complaining about an unruly child, it creates a very significant impetus for us to act, and act assertively. Any manager who behaves as if his hands were tied in this situation is simply being a coward. There is no reason to allow an offending party to remain an offense to the guests and staff of the restaurant, if they have been asked to control their children. I have many times had to walk to a table with a stack of togo containers and the check and ask guests to return another time, “when your child is in a better mood.”
Asking a family with un-ruley kids to leave is more difficult that you think, these people feel that they are there to get a break from the dinner table and forget that they are among others, I know that they seem unaware of thier surroundings but most are aware, they choose not to do anything abaout it. I have assited children back to the table and cautiously told the parents that they could/will get hurt if they dont stay at the table, we even have bought toys (quiet) toys that keep the children busy more restuarnt should try this its amazig how l it works.
If it’s not a child-friendly place like a McDonalds or even an Applebees-type place, but slightly more upscale it’s amazingly easy, actually, but very unpleasant. You just have to say, “Please calm (quiet, corral, whichever verb is appropriate) the kids or I’ll have to ask you all to leave. They are disturbing our other guests.” Then walk away. If they complain, simply repeat “I’m sorry but I have other guests to consider. Now if you’ll excuse me…” and walk away, businesslike. They will not be happy, but the other guests will. If the parents make a scene, you have to bring them to a private area, but when it gets to that point, you can’t try to sympathize or they will try to guilt you into letting them stay. You have to be cold sometimes, ESPECIALLY if other guests are actually complaining. Lose several customers to keep a couple more happy? Never. It’s not fun, but it can be done if you stay calm and above all detached.
PET peeve of mine. My kids know that if they act up in a restaurant, they WILL take a trip to the restroom or outside for a stern chat. A second incident means a spanking. A third means I sit with the child in the car until Mommy and the behaving children are done (and Mommy gets mine to-go). Fortunately, I’ve never had to actually carry through with that punishment – although I have had to begin walking child #1 to the car before she got the idea that I meant business and implored me to reconsider (and she was an angel for the rest of the meal).
The only time I ever had to endure a truly outrageous example of parental indifference, I walked over to the table and asked the couple if they were enjoying their meal. When they replied in the affirmative, I mentioned that their children seemed a tad unsupervised and were ruining the meal for the other guests. When they got defensive (“And just who are you”) type comments, I mentioned that they absolutely seemed to me to be in need of supervision that that I was sure that Child Protective Services would agree. I offered to call them to see if they could resolve the question for us. The couple quickly packed up the kids and left. I got a few thank-yous, but to be honest I was still pissed that parents could be so clueless. Fortunately, CPS in my State will take away your kids if they get the slightest inkling that you are an unfit parent, so they (likely) knew that they would lose that battle.
Unfortunately I work in a family oriented restaurant where the “guest” is always right!! I have seen kids run around barefoot, cut in front of people and create total chaos while the parents do nothing!! But if the child gets hurt the parents would probably sue the restaurant!!!
Anyways I wanted to add to this problem with kids is the fact that as a server I do not want you to leave it up to your 4 year old (or any age for that matter that cannot clearly speak) to tell me their order – while they are stammering, whispering or just not saying nothing at all – i am getting double sat or another one of my tables is trying to get my attention!! You just do not know what our situation is – JUST ORDER FOR YOUR KIDS!!!
I too regretted the cig-ban. Now I’m more willing to go to the other grown-up places, cigar bars, strip clubs, gay bars–and I’m not even the target audience for any of it.
Gee, we’ve even started going back to some of the “Kiddie” places as they’ve grown quieter, have health menus, coffee and free Wifi. Any kids that show up rush into the playland.
At nice restaurants, I’ve watched my own sister let her kid hump her back doggie-style while she giggled at the “little dickens”.
I’m sick of paying good money at “nice” restaurants to have it ruined by entitled creeps and their monster kids.
At sushi trains, the yuppie desperate career-climbers are desperate to start their kiddies up the career ladder with the brown-nosing food of choice. So I’m seeing kids hanging literally over the train, drooling on it, running their drooly hands over the food, stirring god knows what into the wasabi pots. Usually the kids are screaming and struggling with the parents, as they want to climb on the train, etc.
I watched one guy take some edamame off and start eating only to realize some kid had eaten half the bowl and put it and the chewed stems back on the trolley.
On Dec. 25, we flew JetBlue and we got stuck in front of a smug preppie mommy with 3 kids, the 1-year-old on her lap, the 2-year-old next to her (that one kicked my seat for 2 hours). Both toddlers screamed the solid 2 hours while she did nothing but smile—I think she was on meds. JetBlue staff did nothing. There was even another parent with baby on the plane, he was juggling that baby keeping it soothed, walking the aisles, and staring in horror at the smug preppy mommy. Was she high & why did no staff check?
My husband and I have two young girls and have worked on manners with them since they started sitting in a high chair. That way, we know when we go out to eat that they know how to behave and everyone has a good time.
Ahh the children, blessed little monsters that their parents are raising them to be. I recently had a table who allowed their child (to forever to be referred to as Demon spawn) to lick the B&B plates on all the surrounding tables. LICKED them. So deep in their conversation, the parents of D.S. didn’t notice him throwing butter up to the ceiling. Not enough? How about the sticky fingers all over the plate glass windows and the mirrors. After nearly tripping a server who was carrying a tray with four racks of lamb, because D.S. was on the floor, they finally noticed and said, sweetie, you shouldn’t be on the floor.
HELLO!! Pay attention to them. Would you allow them to act this way at any other place of business? I actually feel bad for them, they are not going to know how to behave in a world that will not tolerate actions such as this.
Teach your children to have respect for others property and for they will thank you for it when they are grown.
I work at a family-owned restaurant in a small town; lots of locals dine there, so everyone knows everyone else, and believe me, that’s a real incentive for parents to ensure that their children behave. Most of the non-local families with kids we have come in are pretty good; I even had a father ask to borrow a broom to sweep up the cracker crumbs his (otherwise well-behaved) children had scattered under the table! On the rare occasions when we get a young child running around, I’ll politely warn the child that it’s dangerous, and escort them back to their table, telling the parent(s) that I was concerned about their child’s safety. So far (touch wood) no one’s got angry. I do notice, though, that groups which contain a large number of children don’t, as a rule, tip well. A pleasant exception was yesterday, when a party of five (one adult woman, four girls) tipped $20 on a $49 tab, with the woman thanking me for the good care I took of them. And the girls weren’t even badly behaved!
I intend to have and raise extremely intelligent children that will run up to these unruly children in restaurants, promptly tell them they’re cock-ups, and walk away. Or maybe rather the parents. And I’ll tip the server double if they laugh too.
Made this server laugh Weary Waiter!
HAHAHA! But hey, just borrow a kid for a day. And get it on video
I definitely agree with this, I work at a restaurant where we have to carry very heavy trays full of food and I couldn’t count how many times i have almost dropped a whole tray on a little 3 or 4 year old child because they ran right in front of me(and you know if i did then it would be all my fault)!!! We do have many thing for children to do, coloring books, checkers, a gift shop full of travel friendly toys….etc and people let their kids run in and out of the gift shop and sit at the checker board in the rocking chairs and rock so hard that they hit other customers and once again servers carrying heavy trays with the chair!!!!
I’m 14 and I work at my parents’ Chinese restaurant. Don’t get me wrong, I love children but parents sometimes bring children in and let them run around while doing nothing. Their kids run up to the fishtank and smack the glass, mess with the knobs on the buffet tables that turn on the food warming devices, climb on chairs, mess with the empty tables, raid the complimentary mints, and open all the little packs of sugar they can find. I usually tell another server to go and tell the parents that their kids are making a mess and leaving horrible, gross sticky fingerprints everywhere. If they don’t do anything and it’s not too busy and I’m not needed for anything, I either sit a couple tables away and bore holes into the backs of the adults heads until they notice, or I actually go up to them and ask them if everythings okay with a we-have-duct-tape-in-the-back-which-I-don’t-need-your-permission-to-use-and-so-help-me-I-will attitude while staring at their kids. I have gone as far as herding toddlers back to their tables.
Now, the aforementioned fishtank is my pride and joy. It’s 250 gallons and filled with a beautiful mix of fancy and common goldfish. It also holds the fish that I have had for 2 years and the Oranda that I impulse bought because he looked at me in that fishy way and now takes food from my fingers. It is for looks. You can point but please DO NOT POUND YOUR LITTLE GREASY FISTS AGAINST THE GLASS DAMN YOU. It might be entertaining to watch the fish dart around aimlessly after you’ve scared the living crap out of them but it’s not good for them. Also, this is centimeter thick glass. It can break. It will break. If it does, you owe me $900 for the tank, $200 in water (water isn’t free), $150 for the fish that I am unable to rescue and may die (hey, fish aren’t free either. Fancy goldfish cost $6 each), $200 for the carpet cleaning and water damage fee and YOU BETTER LEAVE A LOT MORE THAN A $5 TIP. I NEED THAT MONEY TO BUY NEW FISH. IT’S YOUR FAULT THE FISHTANK WAS BROKEN. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO YOUR KIDS. No, this hasn’t happened…yet. I have this feeling that it will with the way parents are afraid to dicipline their young children these days in fear that they’ll grow up insecure, depressed and doing drugs. Dammit people, my parents did a better job than that. They didn’t even give the spanking threat. They went right to it. Teach your kids manners and maybe we’ll treat you better when you come in to eat.
Holy crap I feel your pain. I work at a 3-4 star steak house with a VERY MODESTLY priced menu and we get this all the time. In walks a 9 top, 1 high chair and two 3-5 yr olds. Not only do they parents order soup and salad after seeing the rest of the menu but allow their children to do laps around the restaurant. If you want your son/daughter covered in scalding soups, please, feel free to let them cut me off one more time…
what i can i say, pizza restaurants are really the best and they can really fill my belly ‘*-
Thankfully, working in an Irish Pub in Stockholm has its perks. Not many parents bring their kids to a place that serves mostly alcohol. We did have one incident though where 3 dads and their respective toddlers came in, dads sat down at a table with their pints, and let the kids out of their strollers to “stretch their legs”. Along came yours truly, carrying a tray of 6 pints to a group of 6 avid soccer fans watching a match, when one of the little brats decided to cut me off. He smacked right into my knees, causing me to stop but the tray to carry on, tipping over and dropping all 6 pints on the floor. Little Gustav had somehow missed being hit by the falling tray and glasses, and ended up with just a little beer on his shoes and pants. Dad runs up to me, saying how dreadfully sorry he is, and proceeds to offer to pay for the 6 pints. I was very pleased, it would save me talking to the manager about it, so I went to get the bill. I came back to find 3 half finished pints on the table, and no sign of the offending child, parent and friends. I ended up paying for those 6 pints to avoid getting yelled at, and had to reorder 6 more for the soccer boys. I was pissed, so fucking pissed. Pints cost roughly $8 in this country, each!