In the restaurant, you are not as special as you think.

I had a friend the other day get so upset, she was in tears and she almost quit right on the spot. Why? Because an a**hole customer mistreated her, of course. This guy obviously thought that he was special and should be treated better than everyone else – that he didn’t have to follow the rules like everyone else.You see, at my restaurant, much like other restaurants, we have a happy hour. The happy hour is a set period of time, usually during the week that the restaurant uses to bring customers in to drink and possibly spend more money. At my happy hour, we offer $1 pints of this particular beer between 5:00 and 7:00 pm. Now, this stand-up gentleman comes in at 4:30 and orders a pint of this beer. So, she goes to the register, puts in the beer and brings it to him. When his bill finally came, he was outraged that she charged him full price (a mere $3.75) for the beer he ordered, when his watch said 5:07 pm. CLEARLY he was there during happy hour! Well, this dumbass obviously didn’t understand how a clock worked. You see, if you come in before 5:00 and order a beer, just because you sat through that 5:00 time, doesn’t change the price of the beer on your ticket. He was livid at her, accusing her of trying to raise the price of the bill so she’d get a bigger tip, “See what kind of tip you get now!” he said to her. What he didn’t know was that our machines switch over into “Happy hour mode” at 5:00. If he wanted the beer when he ordered it at 4:30, she would enter it into the machine, and the bartender would make it. It doesn’t get made any other way. She couldn’t wait until 5:00 to put it in and keep him happy. This guy was ignorant of our policies. My manager went to him, attempted to calm him down, then eventually told him that it was best if he didn’t ever come back.

You see, the restaurant isn’t going to change their policies for you. They’re not going to allow you to smoke inside if there is a smoking ban, let alone allow you to get away with getting cheap beer before happy hour. You might claim that the adage is true that “the customer is always right”; not if our policy says it isn’t. If you’re so worried about getting free stuff at a restaurant, you shouldn’t be eating out in the first place. Save your money and go buy groceries, or a pizza and eat at home. They’re generally going to be cheaper, just like you.

We know every loophole there is that customers try to get free shit, or discounted shit. If we put cheese on chips, call it an appetizer and charge you $6.75 for it, we know you’re trying to be a cheap bastard if you order the $2.95 bowl of chips and ask for a side of cheese which is less expensive. So, we’ll just delete the bowl of chips you ordered and charge you for the appetizer. Want to complain to the manager because you only got 4 shrimp in your pasta? Okay. $.75 per shrimp. How many you want? You should have read the menu, because that’s what it says, and that’s what my manager will tell you. When I’ve bartended, I’ve had people walk into the restaurant and order our frozen margarita-like drink into a glass and hand them a to-go cup so they can take it out with them. Sorry, but the liquor laws says that I can’t do that. I could get a hefty fine if you get caught with an open-container with our logo on it and I doubt you’re going to come apologize to me and offer to pay the fine.

Also, talking to the manager isn’t going to do you much good. In most situations, your waiter will know what your problem is and deal with it at the table. “Firefighting” as we call it. But if we have to go tell our manager, they hear it from us first what the problem was. They’ll hear our spin on it, and we’ll make you out to look like you have no idea what you’re talking about.

So, save your little jokes about getting free stuff and save your complaints to the manager. Because you aren’t that special. Sure we want your business again, but more likely than not if you have to bitch out the manager, you’re probably not going to come back anyways. If you want something fixed or remedied, approach it in a civilized manner. Talk to your waiter about it, see what they can do. If there isn’t anything they can do, ask for the manager. They can usually do more for you sure, but if you are calm and polite about it, they’ll go even further out of your way. They might even comp your new entree that’s replaced your old one, and even toss you a free dessert. See what happens when you don’t think you’re above us just because we work in the restaurant?