Why is it rude to want to enjoy your night out?
This subject has been brought to my attention recently and it really clicked with some thoughts I had been having for quite a long time. If you’re out enjoying a nice meal with your loved one and the table next to you has a screaming 7-year-old, why is it rude to tell that parent to be polite to everyone around them and keep the child quiet? Is it wrong to want to enjoy your night? I know it isn’t our duty to teach other parents how to control their children, but when it becomes a nuisance or a disturbance to everyone around them, why do people scorn those who make mention of it and not the parents of the children? What, are we supposed to just sit there and take it, having that screaming child ruin our entire night? I don’t think so. It relates in many other situations as well. We have to put up with people who talk in movies or screaming babies on airplanes. Why is it that the rest of the public should be made to feel bad about telling them to be quiet, and the offenders continue to perpetrate? I suppose the situation is different in your surrounding and your comfort level hinges on whether you have a disturbing noise around you or not. It’s different in a restaurant than an airplane, or a movie theater. But, this isn’t an airplane experience blog, or a movie theater blog. It’s a restaurant blog.
The biggest possibility that I can think of is our American drive to be a part of what we’d call “polite society”. Just like your mommy told you when you were a child that it isn’t polite to stare, and say “Ma’am” and “Sir”, it’s just not polite to address someone else’s inability to control their child. Of course, your child would never be like that in a restaurant. That’s why we divert our eyes from homeless people who approach us, and wave them away saying “No, thank you. I can’t help you”, instead of what we really think. Our “polite society” is rampant with doublespeak.
Perhaps it is the pussification of America that is to blame. I suppose I was on the tail-end of the “spanking” era of punishments, when a car ride home after a raucous night meant dreading the over-the-knee, open-hand slap on the rear end. Nowadays parents could be accused of child abuse if they were to spank their children. If I were to ever be that loud in a restaurant, my mother would put the fear of God in me against the wall of the women’s restroom and you better believe that I was silent that entire night, even when I was asked if I wanted dessert. I guess it’s sort of a catch-22: parents don’t want to look like mean parents in public by scorning their children or punishing them, but they also end up looking like they can’t control their children if they do not do anything about it.
You might argue that some people just don’t know. They are ignorant of what they’re supposed to do, or not do. The only problem is that they’re parents probably didn’t teach them how to behave, either. So, if we don’t tell them to quiet a screaming child or stop talking in a movie theater, who’s to say that they won’t ruin more nights that would have otherwise been quiet pleasant?
I certainly don’t wanna put up with that anymore, and neither should you. Viva La Revolucion.
This entry was posted on May 27, 2008 at 11:38 pm and is filed under entertainment, food, humor, restaurant with tags babies, bartenders, bartending, children, humor, restaurant, waiters, waiting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
May 29, 2008 at 11:42 pm
My, what an immature, self-centered outlook. You’ll grow up some day, have a screaming baby of your own, and discover that babies aren’t video games. They don’t come with Mute buttons. You try your best to comfort them, and sometimes, there’s nothing to be done. You’ll eat your words some day. Grow up and realize you’re not the center of the world. Other people do their best; cut ‘em some slack.
May 30, 2008 at 12:05 am
Sometimes you just have to make sacrifices in life. Calling me self-centered? What about those parents that don’t care if the people around them are disrupted at a restaurant, movie theater, or in an airplane? Aren’t they self-centered for not giving two shits about the people around them and continuing to let their child scream at the top of their lungs while they happily sit there ignoring the child while the movie is playing? You just have to make sacrifices, and sometimes that means staying home to eat until you are able to teach your child to be quiet, or you find a babysitter to allow you and your loved one to go out for a night by yourselves. You don’t need mute buttons, you just have to remove yourself and your child from the situation until the child calms down. Why should you happily enjoy your dinner, movie, or airplane ride when everyone around you has their night ruined by the noise? It’s all about making small sacrifices. And Jenna, believe me, when I have children, I’ll understand what it means to make that kind of small sacrifice.
May 30, 2008 at 10:49 am
I’m with you on all but the aircraft situation , just where are you suppose to take a child on an airplane ? You can’t step outside and you can’t bring them into the bathroom for extened periods of time . They are most likely crying in pain because of pressure differentials not behavior issues ,so as an adult I empatize with both the child and parent . We were all children whose crying annoyed someone at one time or another. Its just one of those times in life that you have to suck it up and be an adult.
May 31, 2008 at 8:01 am
Just noticed that you called a baby ” it ” That says alot
September 22, 2008 at 1:20 pm
the polite thing to do when a kiddoe goes into squawling fit mode is you get up with said disturbance and go into the bathroom or outside.
If they simply refuse to quiet down you get your shit boxed up and take it home.
Where do you get off Jenna and insisting EVERYONE be miserable because your child isnt well behaved that meal time-you gonna buy my dinner because as I get older I find it so annoying I will ask a server to box my shit and I will leave.
Its called common courtesy. You especially do NOT go into a nice restaurant with an infant-call mom or hire a babysitter.
Another category of bad parenting violator-you cant go out and linger when dining with small children. It is common sense -they cant sit still for 3 hours they have incredibly short attention spans and if you let them drink their body weight in caffienated sugar drinks GUESS WHAT they will be running around the place like a tweaked out meth addict.
I have personally leaped over the heads of small kids while carrying a full large platter tray of hot food and heavy plates when NON SUPERVISED kids are running amuck.
SO eat your meal and go -dont try and order a four course meal and linger over lattes.
AND bob babies are like adults on planes you chew frantically to equalize the pressure. Adults chew gum and babies gnaw on toys like little rats. Kinda of scary with all the news about Bis A accumulation in our bloodstreams with the shear amount of time a little tyke spends aggressively chewing on plastic. And its a good idea to give the small fries some antihistamines for a day or two before the flight to dry out their sinuses.
And Jenna dont start whining about how I hate kids-never found any1 I want to be the mother of my kids yet and I am responsible enough to not father any out of wedlock. I DO in fact like kids and have nephews I was more than willing to babysit for when needed. I have changed more diapers than some fathers who live with their own kids. But when I have them out in public they behave. I know for a fact my lil brother holds them to an even higher standard.
and in conclusion on the bad child behavior in public –>its not the kid’s fault at all. Its their lousy parents who fail to PAY THEM ANY ATTENTION at all, chooses to ignore them and their 100+ decibel volume, fail to have the common decency that tells you anyone else their should have to endure their child’s behavior. Its all part of the downfall of our society in that no one is responsible for their own behavior-thats taught as soon as they can move around on their own. By the time they can physically run amuck they should have a sense of whats right and wrong behavior and just need a firm parental reminder they are getting into the wrong to put a stop to it for a few minutes at least.