Restaurant Relationships

Love is in the air… every time we look around…

As it was described to me once, “restaurants are basically incestuous”. We in the restaurant industry are very much a family. We eat together, play together, and work together. We suffer the same hardships and stresses of the day and eventually go out together as most people in the restaurant are friends or become good friends. So, it can be rather common for co-workers to get involved with each other. Sometimes under good circumstances and sometimes under bad circumstances usually involving lots of alcohol and/or illegal substances. But one thing always remains true: everyone eventually finds out about it. Drama flows throughout the family like telepathy. You see, because we spend so much time together learning each other’s ways of thinking, it becomes pretty obvious when co-workers “hook up”. It’s even more obvious when the two newly-involved parties end up coming to work wearing the exact same shirt as the previous day with a few extra stains on them.

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes in the restaurant. There are those “serious couples” that work together. You can really point them out, because they’re either always arguing and eventually kiss and make up, or they never work together. Some couples just cant stand to work with each other because of the extra stress the restaurant gives and perhaps that’s a good thing. There are the “startup couples”, the pair that usually meets at work, went out a couple nights, and started dating. You can point these out because they’re the ones generally wanting to keep things sorta secret, but don’t mind being together after-hours with co-workers. And then you have the “work fucks”. These are the one-night stands of the restaurant industry. These are the infamous, rumor-starting, couples that hooked up after dollar-shot night. They had been flirting every night at work and everyone could see it eventually coming. All it took was just one night of debauchery. These people eventually avoid each other like the plague because of awkwardness, or they become startup couples. But like I said, everyone usually finds out.

To get a deeper look into the types of restaurant romances, you really have to look at the people who get involved in them. Every restaurant has these types.

The Man Flirt. This can literally be any type of guy. It doesn’t have to be the cool, hip guy who has all the moves. But, most likely, it’s the awkward guy that noone really likes or invites to parties. The man flirt will almost ALWAYS hit on the cute new girl, at least until he finds out she’s gay. He’ll feel as though he needs to jump on her quickly before any other guy realizes that she’s a catch, and if he fails he moves onto the next new girl. Which surprisingly brings us to…

The New Girl. The new girl can be a big source of drama. Coming into a new situation, she has no idea what kind of past relationships have taken place over the past couple years. She will take a little bit of time trying to get to know everyone and if she’s fun and outgoing she will get invited to all the parties. Automatically targeted by the Man Flirt, she’ll either think of him as interesting, or not be interested at all and be curious about the “Cool Guy”. Which is our next subject.

The Cool Guy. This is the player of the party. He’s the one with the history with the girls. The one with most of the stories. He gets all the girls the Man Flirt wishes he had, and almost ALWAYS has an Ex-Girlfriend who still works there. He will be the catalyst of the drama with the new girl. Because he decides that the new girl is his next conquest, the Ex-Girlfriend gets ragingly jealous and starts bitching silently in corners to co-workers. So, let’s look at her…

The Ex-Girlfriend. Now, this can sometimes not be a serious “ex” as we’d say. Sometimes she’s just a previous “hook-up with high hopes”. Unfortunately, there’s no rubber tree plant in her future. She sucked down the Cool Guy’s bait, hook, line and sinker. Now, she has a grudge against anyone who comes near him. When the New Girl enters the picture, she hopes that the Man Flirt gets her. Once the New Girl goes for the Cool Guy, watch out. This one can either be a silent bomb, or a nuclear explosion. If the Cool Guy is the fuse, the New Girl is the spark, then the Ex-Girlfriend is the bomb itself. Those who happen to be bystanders, get out of the way. Those bystanders are generally your…

Regular Co-workers. These are the people who are there to work and have fun. They stay out of everyone’s business, but generally make friends because they’re pleasant. If they have relationships, they either begin as a start-up couple or they already have a relationship outside of work. These people are your grunts, your regular ranks. There are more Regulars than any other kind mentioned, but they don’t have social stigmas attached to them. The Regulars just sit back and let all the drama play out. Unfortunately, the Regulars usually take the both the brunt of the ranting and raving of the Ex, and the inappropriate comments made by the Man Flirt or the Cool Guy. They’ve got a philosophy that they follow: “I’m just here to work and have fun, man”.

Which one are you?