Quit stealing my Goddamned pens!!
Seriously! We need those pens!
Does it say anywhere on the menu “Paneed fish with rice pilaf and your waiter’s pen“? No it doesn’t.
This is one of the little things that annoy me the most. All the restaurants that I have worked in have required me to carry three pens minimum for the purpose of handing them out to customers to sign credit card bills. So when customers take my pen, it makes it a nuisance to get my customer to sign a credit card bill, especially if there’s more than two tickets at the table. If you take my pen, I then have to go around and ask my co-workers to let me borrow a pen from them so I can give it to the customer. Hopefully, they won’t steal that one too!
This is especially the case when the waiter has special pens that they like. Personally, I love the click pens with the rollerball tip that leave a nice thick, flowing penstroke. It makes it easier for me to write down things in my chicken-scratch handwriting, as opposed to your 25 cent BIC pens. I’ve even see people bring colored pens or other fancy pens to their table so they can distinguish themselves. But, if those get stolen – I’ve seen one girl flip out because a customer took her specialty pen.
Even if you desperately need the pen, I don’t care. It’s mine, I need it too. So stop fucking stealing them!
There. Short and sweet.
January 30, 2009 at 11:38 pm
One word…decaf coffee. Ok, that’s two.
January 31, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Fuck that. Decaf is for pussies.
January 31, 2009 at 4:19 am
AMEN! its mine, not YOURS!
February 3, 2009 at 3:34 pm
i am also a believer in punishment of pen thieves. Being from Texas the Death Penalty should be applied to the incorrigible. I go out of my way to find a unique click pen NOT only so I can recognize my pen but so I can RECLAIM them from coworkers who steal them more than the customers.
I make exceptions for pen theft when a large tip is provided and I determine what is large.
BM touched on another pet peeve tho I didnt get how it applied to the post. If you order decaff from me and I didnt screw up anything else during your meal despite you multiple customizations DO NOT assume I cant rem decaff for the whole 60-120 sec it takes me to pour you a cup a FREAKING decaff. I dont make a living going around putting the caff sensitive into the ER. And you REALLY dont have to ask if its decaff as I bring you a 2nd/3rd/4th cup.
February 6, 2009 at 6:07 pm
There are two things that I (sarcastically) love. When we run out of regular coffee because some lazy co-worker doesn’t refill the coffee they killed, I don’t care enough to wait for another pot. Many waiters don’t even bother, either. We just pour decaf. Call it a placebo effect. Also, I love it when old people ask for decaf coffee and you get orders from other people, they’ll grab my attention again and say “and remember, I had decaf”. I’m sorry, but just because you have Early-onset Alzheimer’s, doesn’t mean everyone else forgets that you ordered coffee five seconds ago. You know what the best thing about having Alzheimer’s is? You get to meet new people every day!
August 27, 2009 at 9:54 pm
When I first read the title, I thought it said: Quit Stealing My Goddamned Penis!
August 28, 2009 at 12:06 am
No… haven’t gotten that stolen. Yet.
September 17, 2009 at 3:33 am
well if it makes you feel better, when people walk into our lotto booth they see an invisible sign that reads “free pen with every coupon filled”
-.-