Looking back
I know a lot of the regular readers have noticed that I’ve been missing in action for the past couple months and I had detailed my saga over the Facebook page and also here, on the blog. I’ve mentioned that I’ve found another job, outside the restaurant industry, but still remaining in a customer service-type role for the time being. I found that my current job was a bit of an easy transition, since as a server, I was responsible for taking care of the customer’s needs, along with giving information about my city, all the fun things to do in it and which streets to avoid during rush hour or late at night. So, I suppose that since I’ve been out of the industry for a couple of months, I thought I might detail my feelings about my time waiting tables, speak to those who are currently in the industry and warn those who are looking to get into it.
If you were to ask me if I’d ever go back to waiting tables again, I’d tell you “no”. Waiting tables is rough. I could give you a list of all the things that makes waiting tables a terrible job choice (hell, you’d just need to read my blog), including the fucked up schedule you end up living, but there are some things that make waiting tables a viable choice as well. I understand that people get into the industry for a number of reasons, but for some people (like me) it is hard to leave it. I suppose that’s why I was doing it for 10 years.
The schedule really is a double-edged sword. Sure, it’s great that you can wait tables while going to school, or have it as a second job, but it’s definitely not designed to be a full-time job. It’s great being able to make your own schedule, work a paltry 4-6 hour days and make decent money. Because you usually don’t have to go into work until nine or ten in the morning to set up for the lunch shift, it allows you to have a great night life, not having to worry about waking up the next morning at five to get ready for work. It’s also great that you often have no problem getting the days off you want, since you’re not handcuffed by regulations on sick and personal days and you have at least 15-20 co-workers who would be happy to take your shift that day so you can go to a concert instead of work. The real downside to the schedule is that you start realizing that it’s not normal. While everyone else is going home and enjoying their evening, watching their favorite shows on TV, you’re working. Thank God for DVR.
On top of that, even working 30 hours a week in a high-intensity, high-stress job like waiting tables can be physically and mentally draining. I commend those who can handle waiting tables for 40 hours a week, but I think if you were to ask them how they truly feel about their job and their life, I have a strong feeling that they’d tell you they weren’t happy with either.
If you were to ask me if I could go back 10 years and change my job choice, I’d tell you “yes”. Waiting tables, unless you have a desire to manage or own one someday is a terrible career choice. In fact, employers outside the customer service field look down on you if you were a waiter for a long period of time. If I could go back and take a job that had some kind of upward movement, I would do that in a heartbeat. Waiting tables is a stagnant position. Sure, you might leave your shitty corporate Mexican restaurant and move up to a fancy French restaurant to make a little more money, but you’re still performing the same job. Yes, there are opportunities to be a manager, but you really have to have that mindset that it’s what you want to do from the start. Sure, I made good money, but I really was stuck in a whirlpool, unable to escape.
Getting fired for this damn blog was probably the best thing to ever happen to me. This blog was supposed to be about life in the industry, as a way for me to vent about the crazy things that went on in a restaurant. The sad thing is that there were so many completely different subjects that I could write about. It’s amazing that I had so many complaints and what’s even more amazing is that many of you connected with my sentiments. You laughed and cheered me on because what I wrote really hit home with you and with other people all across the world. My question to you is: why do we put up with it? Why do we have a job that causes us so much stress and makes us hate society so much that we label them, throw them into categories of complainers? I suppose someone has to do it and since we’re so good at it, I guess we can sacrifice ourselves to make others’ experiences better.
I really feel that this is going to be my last blog post. Since I’m no longer in the restaurant industry, there really isn’t much more for me to write about. I send all my thanks to you regular readers, Facebook followers, friends and family who have supported this blog, passed it on and really provided a few laughs to the world. The blog will stay up as long as it can, so please feel free to pass it along to all your co-workers and friends so that they can enjoy the same hilarious connections that you had with it. You guys have all been great! I love reading your comments and the discourse therein is always entertaining. Keep your head up and always be looking for something better than what you’ve got now.
86: Server Not Slave.
Amen to that buddy! Good for you and I wish you all the success in your new endeavour. You make a lot of good points and don’t look back. Now perhaps you can live a normal life. Take care.
Nice to hear from you again, servernotslave. I’m glad things are working out for you. I’m sorry to hear that this will probably be your last blog post. I really enjoyed reading your posts and I’m going to miss them!
I am sorry to hear that you lost your job because of this blog …. Perhaps start a new blog about your new job choice this time just don’t tell anyone who you are lol
I have certainly enjoyed reading your blog and have laughed and vented some of my own years of frustration as I read along. I have also left the life of the server at the end of last year. I know though, I will probably be a server all of my days, it is in my blood. I was also 86′d on the board on my last night at our little cafe’ . I will miss reading your posts into our (their) world. I hope that you are blessed in whatever venture you choose! Here’s to hanging up the apron.
Vick
and really? fired for writing a blog. That sucks. Managers…shakes head.
I’ve been reading for a long time, never commented, that’s just my way. It is unfortunate that you are leaving us, but as a good manager will say “I wish you the best with your new career opportunity, if you ever need a job the hospitality industry is always hiring.” I must disagree with the belief that others/other employers “look down” on keeping a server position for a length of time, that just isn’t fair. I am a FOH supervisor, and I pick up tables here and there, and I must say I absolutely love it. I was never getting into this business for the money, and God knows I tried to do other things with my life, but nothing else will make me feel the way the restaurant does. I love the schedule, sure it can get sticky at times (holidays for sure…) but there is no way I can make it to work before 10! Yeah, parts of it suck, but to me and I am sure at one point in time you said you loved it. In my opinion you find something you love to do, which in your case may be working with people, then do it, it will make you happy.
I have been in the industry for 30 years. 5 years ago I sold my own cafe after 13 years of it wore me down. It took me over a year before I would go back into a restaurant job and not in the kitchen this time, I waited tables at a sushi place. Great money, totally different than any thing I had done before, and did I say great money? The same things would come up occationally, like the man haters womans club who didnt want me to wait on them, or the celebrity/ artist/ performer/ author who tips 12 %. But once you know how to run a table, you own it. Bringing people unbelievable food is a real treat. So is not being the owner.
sad to know..
I have read everyone of your posts, and it is sad to know that you will no longer be posting. In your recent leave of absence, I checked this website nearly everyday to check for a new post. It amazes me that you were able to articulate so many of the feeling that servers go through everyday in your blog posts. This last post was a good way to go out. Good luck to you in your new life.
Good luck to you. You will be missed, but it is an exciting time and we wish you the best in your new endeavor.
Take care.
Wow. Figures I find you on your last post. I’ll still read the rest.
I was in the restaurant business in the 1990′s, and after other jobs and moving and coming upon hard times about 8 years ago I thought I’d venture to try it again. I was sort of surprised to hear repeatedly that they didn’t want me. They looked down on me… maybe because I had made it out of the business. One manager said truthfully she was concerned that I didn’t really want to be there, and if she hired me and some other job came a long, I’d be gone. Partially true, but I wouldn’t have been there if I didn’t really need a job. I liked waiting tables and so forth. My experience was in smaller restaurants, so maybe I was spoiled and maybe I would have hated the work faster at a big chain. Oh well.
The Reader’s Digest article came out in November of 2009, so you’re actually a year late! Ha!
a year late? i don’t get it… i’m no activist…
I can’t believe that there is other people in the world who feels like me.Sad to hear that this Blog is ending!
Hi, I was reading this article on yahoo http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/15-secrets-your-waiter-will-never-tell-you-2447556/ and it lead me here.
I’m a first time reader and just wanted to say that the dreams never go away. I haven’t served a table in 10 years and I still have the occasional nightmare… talk about post traumatic syndrome. Welcome to your new life.
WOW ! I just found your blog via
” http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/15-secrets-your-waiter-will-never-tell-you-2447556/” and now see that you are done.
Too bad!
For the most part, I rag on bloggers because it makes Tom, Dick and Harry all believe that any idea that pops into their head should be written about. They should go back to old school diaries and keep it under their pillows
So not true for you! You, have something to say that could change interactions between people to make the world a more pleasant place to be in. You, dear JR, are a writer. I guess now that you are done with your blog, you can sit down and write a book. . . KIT. . .I’ll buy it!
You know this will be the first place I tell people when I do write the book!
I have never worked as a server, but as someone who has worked back of house several times I have got to say Kudos to you for sticking it out so long, entertaining read and if you looking for something new try hitting up a nursing home or hospital and trying to become a CNA takes like 2 weeks of school you work 3, 12 hour shifts a week get 4 days off, gotta say it was one of the best changes I ever made lol. Now im going to nursing school on the side. So whatever you choose to do, i hope it works out for you.
This is the first blog of yours that I have read and I love the way you write. I hope you would still consider blogging about anything I will continue to read….Patrece
I absolutely find myself why the heck I am working at a job that stresses the heck out of me and the little appreciation that comes with it. Other than the practical explanation that the job pays the bills, I think I do what I do for the rare moments when someone comes up to you and tell you that you’ve been so helpful and helped made their day. And of course there is also the comfort in the old job and the laziness to look for a new one because I expect all the conditions will pretty be the same. And I wonder if I could really find a job that makes me happy, I’m still looking but good luck to you!
I used to be hooked on the old bitterwaitress site, it included GREAT true stories posted by waiters about celebrities (good and bad) – i just visited the site now and it seems tamed down. I think the site was forced to take the stories down. Since 1980, every time I see a certain celebrity on TV initials DS (or am reminded of him when I see his equally famous son initials KS and totally blameless) I remember the day DS sat in our open air posh bistro in Coconut Grove, Florida, and demanded booze (we had no license) and self-importantly bellowed to me, “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” I wanted to say, “Yeah, you’re a drunk famous actor who is being a jerk right now” but if I did I would have been fired, so I had to appease him any way I could to earn my pittance.
Well, you are famous now that your story was posted on yahoo news, so I hope a mean lawyer contacts you to sue your former employer. You may not be a slave but there is supposedly free speech in America, one of the freedoms we fight for, don’t take it lightly. I hope you get a book deal out of your blog, it’s very good reading. Good luck and grab the brass ring while your 15 minutes lasts!
Funny enough, the original article in Reader’s Digest was printed in November of 2009, soon after, NBC’s Today Show did a bit on the article. So, I suppose this is the second half of my 15 minutes, huh?
I just saw a deal on yahoo about 15 things your waiter won’t tell you and this site was referenced. I like it sucks it’s your final blog but I hear ya. I myself was a cook and bartender for about ten years and it disgusted me to see the way some people would treat our waitstaff. In fact there were a few instances I told the manager to request a patron leave as I didn’t feel obliged to cook for them. (I used to be pretty good) In any case when we go out now though we may not have much we are terribly nice to the waitstaff and completely understand if we get less attention due to another table and we STILL leave a nice tip :0
Basically it boils down to this: If EVERYONE was required to spend two years in Restaraunt and/or Retail when they came of age and entered the workforce, then they’d be a hellofalot more compassionate and considerate to each other, no matter what other industry they went to. My first real job was at a movie theater, which I think is almost as bad.
I have to disagree with you Betty, My stepmom worked as a waitress for years and my dad as a chef in a nice restaurant, they left the restaurant jobs years ago and today they own a retail business. I’m amazed at the way they treat other people when they go out. They’re pushy and demanding and act like the whole world should revolve around them. It’s pretty sad, they seem to have forgotten that they were just employees at one time also. But from what I have seen, entitlement syndrome seems to be a part of people who own a businesses.
Actually, more accurately, I think it’s up to the individual. Temperament and circumstance and one’s own decisions weigh heavy. Some people just get bitter, as you say. You also mentioned they spend several years each in the business. Not everyone comes out of a tragedy a hero, so it’s not any kind of rule.
Driver’s Ed does not guarantee good drivers all over the road, but at least they’ve been taught.
I so agree with you I was a server for so many yours now i work a 8-5 job and I love it so much, i would never be a server again.
I’ve been in the industry for 15 years, and won’t miss your blog, although this is the first time I read any of it. U are a light weight and aren’t cut out for it. That is ur only problem. Some of us love the hours and action.
Server,
You are one of the first “online” friends I made in this business since I started my blog. I know full well the challenges you have faced in trying to convey your hopes & dreams, and frustrations, in what you write in these pages. It’s a shame that you will not be here to keep it going.
Hopefully I, as well as all your other online friends, can keep your thoughts going for a long time.
Good luck to you in all you do.
the Banquet Manager
I see you submitted an article in Reader’s Digest 2009. I don’t know if WordPress has features to convert your posts to a book. Google Blogspot has this simple feature. Have you thought about publishing a book? Have you been on tv?
Kudos to you servernotslave for getting out even though you got fired…that’s such a crappy word “fired”, they even use terminated on your slip when they “let you go”. I wish they could just use the “let go” phrase and be done with it. I was let go a year ago from working at the beloved “Mac Shack” as we called it. It was complete hell and we all knew it. Even the servers I speak to once in a while that are still there hate it.
Hope you like your new job and hopefully you will never be in a s situation where waiting tables will ever be an option for you. Many people I know that got out for their “careers”, ended coming back..so glad that never happened to me.
Thank God for school (to be finished soon) and careers.
Even though I looked for another job as a waitress, again thank you God, no one could hire me (economy). As the days went by with no one hiring anyone more servers, I got a few hits to be a hostess, so glad I turned them down. Who would want to be one? I was for 6 months before I was a server and I hated it, more hours and less pay because even if you did extra work like busing tables for servers a tip was rare. Or unless you sang really beautiful songs (not me) then you may occasionally get a tip from customers…again rare.
I was in the business for 6 years and I tried getting out on my own a year prior to getting “laid off” by looking for another job in the future career (I will soon be in) and no luck. Who would hire a person for an office position if before they were a server had 3 accumulative years as an administrative assistant when they were a teen and then when became a server and did nothing except work and try to have a life outside of being so tired from busting their ass for minimum wage + tips?
Of course I decided that I really did hate the being a server part and since I’ve been out my life and my temporal career of being a college student, walking dogs, pet sitting for more than twice what I used to make and on occasion (for my rate based on many, many years of experience of being a sitter-one of the great things about being a girl) I have a few families that I’m an on-call sitter for makes life so much better and great. Why didn’t I get out sooner? No more stress from previous managers and unlike the tables I used to have where I was stuck with them until they finally left, I get to pick my clients. If I don’t like them or their kids I don’t accept the job, and move on to the next.
Of course this isn’t a blog about me and I sort of made it one.
My kudos to you man is that you wrote about your experience, I would have done the same if I had the time to do so.
Good luck with your new job and if you do decide to post new things I may read it now that I know about this site.
So sad to hear you’re leaving us. But completely understand why. It’s time to leave your life in the restaurant industry behind you. I have a long 6 months before I can do the same.
I got randomly tossed about to your page. Although I haven’t read any of your other blog entries aside from one comment from your site that was featured in some sort of waiting truths… I’d like to comment.
There are so many things we invest our health, sanity, and time into just to possibly see results. Maybe thsoe results won’t show in what you’re working on but hopefully, it will lead to something else. If this blog was created to share the truth, I’m surprised you are considering calling it quits.
I don’t know the background story nor the details of getting fired but I’m sure everyone who follows you at this point follows to not read about you waiting tables but all the little experiences you are picked up along the way that made you who you are right now. With that being said, having a reference like a blog to look back on is quite a self-reflection I’d say. I can’t imagine how it will be like for you in ten years when you have the job you want and how you had all these thoughts about the becoming society placed next to the becoming you. It reminded me of someone I know actually. She’s stuck in a job no where near your bachelors degree but she doesn’t know her next step quite yet so she’s waiting it out with an awful boss. She could call it quits and get another transitioning job but why bother when you won’t really ever be happy unless it’s that one job you really want but can’t attain.
I’m glad I stumbled upon your blog and will continue to hope you return to shar more thoughts! Waiting isn’t easy and I believe it is for the patient (and or desperate). But being able to openly share those experiences is pretty amazing.
Just saying.
Cheers,
Dana
So I stumbled upon this blog after a day of having a bad day at work. I’ve been serving for two years now. This opened my eyes that despite the fact the money is good.it’s not worth it. Thank you so much for writing this! I’ve accepted being created like crap. For what?! Money. Ive realized there’s not enough money in the world for me to do this for very much longer.id honesty say this changed by life. And I’m ready to throw my apron away!
BOO! I’m upset to hear that you are completely quiting your blog. I figured it would come to an end soon but I would check at least once or twice a week to see if you have written yet. I will agree with you on not wanting to return to the serving world after 6 long years of restaurants I’m finally done! Even though I dont work an 9-5 job and sometimes I feel like Im still in a restaurant setting, without the food, with working weird hours and constantly on my feet. (I’m a supervisor at a large drug store chain) I feel like I could never go back to the world of serving or hostessing. I still get to mingle with the public and chat with them but its nice to know at the end of the day I’m still getting paid by the hour not on how much they feel like tipping me.
I do have to say that my experience as a server and host gave me the skills to help out in the public service world and I’m about to help the customers out better. I don’t see how anyone can look down on someone who used to be a server for years. I feel like as a manager I would be excited to have an employee who knows how to deal with others and work on a team (not saying all are equal and good at it). I think it has given me the skills to be patient with customers and help them out in any way I can.
I’m so glad you have found a good job. I’m still a little sad knowing that your blog is coming to an end but its so exciting to know that there is a whole other world out there that has the same experiences that I did and they know how tough serving is.
THANKS A MILLION!!!!
Melanie