About me…
You can call me Servernotslave, or SNS for short. I’m a college graduate from a well-established 4 year university with a degree in Education and I’m a waiter. I’ve been in the service industry for 8 years now. I’ve been a busser, a dishwasher, a server assistant, a waiter, a bartender, an expediter and a manager-in-training. I’ve worked in both corporate restaurants and family-owned restaurants. I’ve seen the disaster stories and the fortunate stories. This business has turned me into a cynic and taught me to keep expectations low, so I’m rarely disappointed. I try to find the humor in every situation and it’s always my job (whether I’m at work or not) to make people feel comfortable.
I live alone. I’m currently single, but I have a few prospects. I live in the same town I grew up in and I have no plans to leave in the future.
This is my first blog.
Hello,
I, like you, share a strange addiction to this industry. Similarly I have also started my first blog and would love for you to check it out if you have some free time. More content is being added as we speak. Thanks for some inspiration!
don’t know if I’m doing this right. I have a question??? Does anyone know why the large metal carts in restaurant kitchens for the dirty dishes are called Queen Mary’s????
We all call them that, but no one can tell me why??
thanks,
Thom
Just finished reading “50 Secrets Your Waiter Will Never Tell You” and I was amazed that these folks interviewed have totally lost focus that their tips are directly effected by the service they provide.
If I have to ask for a water refill, it effects your tip, pay attention to my needs. If my food is cold, it effects your tip, learn to feel the bottom of the plate. If my service was less than I expected, it effects your tip, call in sick if your not ready to give it 100%. In other words don’t expect me to cover what your salary doesn’t if you don’t put in the effort to be the best that you can be at your job all the time. No one ever tells me at work “Oh Robert I see your busy today, let me just settle for 50% of your efforts”.
Oh, and “Chris Fehlinger” if your tips are pooled that’s a personal problem, pull your weight and your team mates will always be able to count on you.
Moral of the story, treat me right and I’ll treat you right!
You do have to realize that sometimes other things become more of a priority than your water level if we should get really busy. Waiting tables requires a keen ability to manage time. You have to be able to prepare for the amount of time a dish takes to be made so you can bring it to your table, greet customers, take orders, run food, put in orders, etc. All these things have priority over a water refill. Just coming to your table to fill your water takes an extra trip; time that is better spent bringing dying food to another table. It’s not a problem to ask for water. If we know you really need it, we’ll ask a co-worker to bring it to you while we’re running around like a chicken with our heads cut off.
I think servers’ tips are more affected by how well they meet their individual customers’ expectations. How well they determine those expectations is part of the skill it requires to be good at customer service. (That’s my theory, anyway, since I’ve never been a waitress. I do not have the patience to be nice to people who are assholes just because they feel they are better than someone else and that gives them a special Asshole License.)
Personally, I go to restaurants to have good food cooked for me, and to not have to worry about cleaning up. And that is generally secondary to being able to spend time in the company of friends or family. I usually tip 20%, because it’s easy to calculate, I know the servers rely on the money, and you really have to do something egregious to piss me off.
Others go to restaurants to feel like they’re King Shit of Turd Mountain. They get off on having someone there to cater to their whims. They feel important or special because there’s someone to fulfill their desires, someone whose pay they can directly affect, someone for them to feel superior to. For every tiny infraction they either see or imagine from their server, they mentally deduct a percentage point of the tip. I imagine some of them fantasize about their waiter seeing the 7.5% tip and saying “Please, sir, how can I be of better service to you?” I also imagine that many of them would not eat out if we didn’t have a tipping system and the cost of servers’ wages was included in the menu prices.
The thing is, I have very few restaurant “horror stories.” There are very few times I can remember having left an eatery unsatisfied. The picky ones, I’ve noticed (from this forum and every other discussion board whenever the topic of waiting tables or tipping comes up) have nothing but a litany of complaints about this mishap or that screw-up.
If you’re super-demanding, you’re never going to be pleased. It’s never going to be “good enough.” I didn’t the RD article as servers griping that they should be tipped regardless of level of service. It was just interesting information to know. For example, I didn’t know that a lot of people have their fingers in the lemons, so now I would be less likely to want one in my iced tea or water. But someone who read that article and saw it as a bunch of waiters with a sense of entitlement, would probably start demanding that they be given a lemon, but make sure it is freshly-washed and newly-sliced.
In fact, only 3 of those 50 items covered tipping. The “pull your weight” comment is asinine, too, because “tipping out” means that even a server who does a fantastic job and earns every cent of his tips might have to give his hard-earned money to another server who isn’t as attentive or efficient. Not only that, but it means that if a customer stiffs a server (either by walking out with the restaurant’s copy of the charge slip, as mentioned in the article, or because they’re an ignorant rube who doesn’t understand a social contract, or they’re just a goddamned prick), the server still has to give up a portion of his night’s earnings to his coworkers.
From what I’ve seen, restaurant workers do tend to work as a team and help each other out. Without the practice of tipping out, some of them, even the ones who give 110%, are going to get dicked over sometimes.
Servernotslave,
I think a lot of Servers/Waiters develop poor attitudes because of a wide variety of reasons, like they wen to college for four years to get a degree in education and end up waiting table for eight years.
When I go to a restaurant, I choose a place for the food and experience. I expect to have a good meal and great service. I don’t care what your financial situation is. I assume none of you are wealthy, that’s why your a waiter. However, you are hired by your employer to do a job. So if I want a glass of water, get me a damn glass of water. My tip is determined by how good my meal was and how good my waiter was. If I had a great meal and a great water then I will tip up to 80% of my bill. I get pumped when I go to a place and I get a great meal by a water that performs professionally. It’s like anything else in life. You get 1% of the people that are top performers and 99% that do an ok or piss poor job.
I have tipped a professional Italian server $200.00 for a $160.00 meal because you was phenomenal!! No your menu, know your drinks and definitely know your wine. Your business does not exist unless I eat there and then tell my friends to eat there. I am not there to wait on you or be patient because your so busy or chose to do a half ass job. Bust your butt for me and I will pay for top performance. Do a crappy job and I will not only give you a little tip, because you deserve it, but worse, I will go somewhere else next time.
There are people that can make some solid money waiting tables, if you are a top performer. Most waiters are not. They are there to pickup a check, to socialize or get laid. They are drifting in life and just there to get from point A in there career to point B. I don’t really care why your there, but when I come in to your employers place of business and I want something then get it for me. I don’t care if it’s water or a $100.00 glass of wine. Be a top notch professional and I will not only come back and tell other to as well, but I will give you a big tip. Get the job done and be a pro.
Honey if you are running like a chicken with your head cut off, look for another job. Water is a priority.
People like you are pricks. I bet you get a lot of spit in your water, and you deserve it. I’m Not a waitress (or an a**hole!)
See prick comment, you qualify too.
LOL! About getting spit in my food…
Yeah, I’m no fool! Actually, I’m the guy who’ll bare with your poor service if I’m hungry enough and not give a miserable server a reason to single me out. If I’m not too hungry then I’ll cancel my order and let the manager know on the way out who the source of my dissatisfaction was, even it it was him/her… and I won’t take comps unless it’s a chain. Either way it’s little to NO TIP! It all works itself out in the end, I’m happy, you’re happy! The goal is not to make your life miserable, It’s to reward you when you’re on your game and let you know in the most effective way possible when you’ve failed. How else you going to try to make a change and be your best? What good would it be if everyone gave you 25% as a rule? Trust me, you’d hate your job if there wasn’t a goal! Give yourself more credit than that…
RG
servernotslave- I have to amend my comment to add that I can sympathize when a manager has given too much for a server to handle and in some cases have gotten up to tell the manager that I’m happy with my server but not the service hoping that he’ll get the hint and help out, so I’m not entirely heartless.
I can say however, on several occasions I’ve gotten cold food that is not only cold to the touch but visibly cold. As a server how hard would it be to just be my line of defense and notify the cook staff?
That seems like a reasonable expectation no matter how busy you are.
I can tell you personally that I would never as a customer send a plate back to the kitchen once it hits my table so cold or bad looking food will indeed effect your tip.
RG
There is absolutely nothing wrong with sending food back if it’s under/overcooked, or cold. I do it all the time when I go out to eat. Most of the time your waiter isn’t going to know if your food is cold or not. Sometimes the plates are kept under the warmer to heat them (to keep the food from dying too quickly, therefor making it too hot to touch without a towel) or they are left out in the open, sitting at room temperature. Either way, we’re not going to touch your food to check to make sure it’s hot. We have faith in our kitchen staff that they’ve prepared it properly and plated it hot. You really shouldn’t feel so bad about sending food back. It’s a top priority that you are happy with your food. Believe me, we’d rather you send it back and get the food the way it was meant to be eaten than for you to walk away unhappy and second-guess yourself whether or not you should eat here again when you leave. We’d rather you say “the food came out cold the first time, but when he brought it back it was delicious”.
hey i loved the tip you gave in the readers digest! That’s how i fournd ur blog
hey thanks a lot! I appreciate it. Pass the address along to all your friends.
Just thought I would add that I also say your comment in the Readers Digest and will now be keeping up with your blog daily. Love your work, and your attitude— Keep it coming SERVERNOTSLAVE!
I admit it, I also found you through the RD. I find my best internet reads that way. I hope this gives you a real boost in readership and that it will benefit you down the road. I like the way you write, plus the information is quite serious in a funny way. Good Work!
Adding you to favorites now… there. See you later
Excellent blog — you are a very entertaining (and informative) writer. Loved the “Beaten and Bloody” post. I’m looking forward to reading all your older posts. Keep up the great work!
Hey SNS, I’m one of those people who found you while cruising through the RD article, read your comment and knew instantly I had to check out the blog, sat here and read through only a few entries and I love the stuff.
Hilarious, and true.
I am / was an worker in the industry myself, Cook / Chef (a few different venues, from the chains, family owned, cruise ship, all of it) I know that servers and kitchen staff can go head to head at times, but in the end were all in it together.
I was going to leave a comment on one of the blogs, but couldn’t bring myself to leave just one, so I had to sum it all up here.
Basically I love the material and I already suscribed through email so I can keep up with it. Im out of the industry now and working for uncle sam, but I would be lieing if I said I never missed it.
I get what your writing about and it brings back alot of memories, especially the blog about steak and how it should be served, THANK YOU, just for that post alone, I can not TELL you how many times I literally scorn at people I am either dining with, or even customers I have had who
(Sorry, accidently clicked the post button early….here’s the finish to it) who order their steak well done or even ASK for steak sauce, I sincerely wish A-1 was never invented, sure it’s good for you discount wal-mart steak shoppers who buy a over aged P.O.S chunk of meat from a guy behind a butcher counter in a white coat, go ahead and slather the crap on that piece of meat, but keep it out of restaurants, especially the fine dining chop house’s.
I know I am jumping from topic to topic, lets face it, I’m not the best typist, but I just want you to know I agree with what your writing (not that you need my approval anyway. HA) and it brightened my day to read it.
As I said, I have had my fair share of conflicts with wait staff when I worked the kitchen, but who can blame us, both job’s (front and rear staff) are high stress, and long hours. I always respected them though, because even when a screw up was from my side, and completly my fault, the front staff had to take the brunt of the negativity, and it cost them some hard earned money.
Anyway, thanks for bringing back some memories, and for making me laugh everytime you had to explain a term to the uninformed (“butterfly” “demiglace” “aus jus” LoL great stuff, and yes, I snicker to myself even now when I hear Dem-eye-gloss, or awws-juice)
Well, I am going to quit rambling now, Keep up the great work, and thanks again man, I’ll tell everyone I can, especially my old kitchen buddies. Take care SNS, and good luck out there, if I ever end up at your place, expect a great tip just for the laughs alone.
Dan
I too used to work in the food service industry and most of the postings I have ready have been true and on the nose. I found that through the years I worked in the that industry that the best servers are the ones that their entire day is atleast slightly affected by their shift at work. The good ones care about what tables think about the food, their visit, and even their server. The good ones carry it with them, doing their best to hide their hurt feelings after a table chewed them out for something completely out of their control. It’s extremely difficult and very emotionally tasking to smile and thank someone for stiffing you and chewing you out and then moving to another table and acting as if nothing bad has happened to you today. Not to mention, that server still has a personal life and for all you know their happy-go-lucky, when in all actuallity their dog just died. So yes, their are bad servers out there that don’t care and end up ruining it for the rest of us. Just remember the Golden Rule when your sitting at a table and your glass is empty and you look up to find your waiter balancing three trays of food running to a table of screaming kids and oblivious parents. Please note that the good servers have already noticed your glass is empty they are just holding three trays and as much as they would love to dump their food on the oblivious parents’ heads, they cannot but as soon as they have free hand your water is quickly on its way.
Thanks for this blog! You are truely awesome for writing it!
Thank you for doing this. What a great site! I must also say that I am rather impressed with how well you contain your cynicism. First of all, I don’t think we should have to contain it all the time like we are expected to because expressing anger and emotion is normal and natural and we should not be condemned for it should we need the outlet. In fact, I bet it would not be dripping with venom the way it is at times if our culture actually allowed us to express those ever so taboo and frightening “negative” emotions in healthy ways from time to time. God forbid we be human, God forbid we not be numb and actually feel for half a second of our lives. Yikes! See there’s my cynicism taking over. Anyway, that’s my whole point. To thank you for being a voice and for doing it well. I can’t say so much for myself, I often find myself wishing a plague upon western civilization (and yes, I’d be happy to be one of it’s victims should it mean a better planet for others), but I am glad there are people like you.
Keep it up!
SNS-
I think I am in love! I am so happy I stumbled across your website after my shift tonight. I, too, am a college grad and due to unforseen circumstances, server/manage at a restaurant in Chicago. I have been in the industry now for 6 years and loved reading all of your blogs/posts and am going to try and find your RD article. Everything I have read has been dead on to what I would like to say to my guest, but obviously cannot. I have told several friends, family members, co-works about how I would love to write a book about being a guest in a restaurant.
After reading the replies to this post, I would love to reply to ROBERT’S comment and add to yours. Regarding cold food, I also believe the guest has every right to send it back, but most of the time it’s out of the servers control. At the restaurant I currently work at, the food is sometimes brought out by other servers or what we call food runners. I will not see your food until I check back. Also, sometimes our food is re-plated so that the plate is not too hot for the guests or the plate has been sitting too long under the warmers and it’s really hot. The temperature of the plate would never correlate to the tempurate of the food. I do not need to “learn how to feel the bottom of the plate.” And yes, sometimes water levels do get low, but in serving timing and learning how to manage that time. Not everyone drinks in the same manner. Servers have guest who drink 8 or 9 glasses of water in a sitting and those who stick to their 1. As a server, I anticipate 8 or 9 glasses, but sometimes I catch the water glass empty. I get what I like to call “stuck” at a table. The table who talks to you, and you are there to listen, or as SNS said, you get sat a table of 10 who need drinks. We know you need water and more than anything we would love to have an extra hand to make things go quicker, but we are only human. It happens, And I would hope my other serving skills such as knowing everything about the menu, politeness, smiles, professionalism, would give me the 20%. Also, certain peoples “expectations” of service at a table are completely different and as an educated human being, I am still waiting for the ESP to kick in. For example, tonight I greeted my first table with a smile, a how do you do and my name. As protocol is this new brewery, we have to ask if you have dined with us before. Before I could finish asking my question, I was interupeted with a “I want a water.” The guests were very rude and treated me like I was a dumb female who might as well scum, but tipped me $50 on a $140 bill. Nice eh? But in the same night, I had a couple who were interested in everything I had to say, joked with me, remembered my name, and sparked up a casual conversation. They loved their drinks, food and were vocally pleased. On their $80 bill they left me $10 tip. Reading your table as to what they want or need or their “expectations” is part of our job, yes, but also never correlate to 20% tip either. All guests have different expectations for servers, and servers are always trying to figure out what they are, I know I am, even after 6 years. I love serving, it’s great money and I have a niche for it. Sometimes I believe my mind-reading skills are up to par, but after what happened tonight, I was brought back to reality and how I am human, just like those I am serving.
Which brings me to another point. As servers, we too go out to dinner as well. I have had my fair share of BAD servers. Ones who forget drinks or never check back ever or never see them again until they bring the check back. As a server, I get that sometimes you’re busy with other tables, sometimes you’re tring to polish and roll silverware in the back and or take a drink of water, go to the bathroom, shove some food into your super empty stomach, but like some of the people who have replied to this post I agree that crappy service is hard to tip as well, but 15% to 18% is still appropriate.
And I cannot lie there have been times in my full service cocktail shifts where I had about 10-15 tables and haven’t given the best service and recieved a 10% tip and know it’s well deserved, but those are never the guests or tips that I get “down and out” about.
Well, SNS, I am sorry for such a long Reply, I guess 6 months of working full time in the restaurant industry after being laid off from my full time job has gotten to me. But thank you, thank you for this website. Cannot wait for a new one
- Lola
Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.
I think this blog is great (I WAS in the industry as everything from potwasher to owner for 25 years).
Totally off subject …
As a first time reader I have to tell you, reading white text on a black background (aka inverse typeset) is very, very hard. Would you think of changing the background color to white and the type to black. It would make reading this very interesting blog a lot more fun.
Black on white is boring, which is not what I want to portray in this blog. I thought a light gray on black would work, and I haven’t had any complaints yet… Well, except for you…
Yeah, I find it hard to read white on black as well. Yay, for RSS feeds! it gives me black lettering on a white background. (Boring, but less eye strain.)
I found your blog to be fun, distracting reading. Now, it’s way past my bedtime
Hey SNS,
I’m not from the restaurant field in any way however, I do have my fair share of blunders, woes, and knee-slappers from working at the department store cosmetics counter (such as a child spitting in my face while selling his mom another target product she didn’t need). Currently, I work at a day spa as an esthetician (a job that is not without it’s “charms”). Stumbling upon your website has totally made my week (if not year) and I am totally grateful that someone is able to point out the in
incessent “fun” that is working customer service! (sorry about the split comment, my clicker finger got twitchy)
I appreciate the comment, Hannah. I’m glad I could make your week (year). You can make it up to me by telling all your friends.
already did!
Though I have had both good and bad service I really can’t understand the 15% “minimum” threshold set by those in the industry and refuse to dine based upon it.
I can see when someone is overworked because I too am overworked at times, the unfortunate thing is when my performance is not up to par it’s expected that I give a discount for my services and frankly that’s how I see things when I get service at a restaurant. The great server that adds to my experience will most likely get a tip in the 30-50% bracket. The good one will probably get 15-20%, the overworked server that’s giving it their best may still earn up to 15% from me because it’s up to the server to either work it out with their manager, find a new job with a better manager or become a manager and do a better job of it. And, the crappy one will probably have to make due with about $2.
As for my comment in a previous post about hot food, no I will not send it back (I’ve worked in a kitchen before and know what happens 5% of the time) so it’s really on the server to know what plating technique is used and conform to the task of seeing to it that the food is hot when I get it. If your restaurant is one that uses a food runner then he or she should be up to snuff with what you expect as this is part of running your team which goes hand in hand with becoming the best you can be at what you do.
After all it’s unfair to assume that the customer should have to live with it as they get it or wait for their food to come back when the food is a major factor in the whole dining experience we’re after… right?
Just consider yourself a major part of a flight crew, no matter who’s fault it is when the plane crashes it all rests on the pilots shoulders and well, you’re the pilot!
Great service = Great tip
Good service = Good tip
Poor service = Poor tip
To all you servers out there complaining about a bad tip, if your story posted describes a situation where you feel you were “stiffed” by a customer when you gave it your very best then chances are you gave yourself more credit than you deserved in your version of the story and I’d really love to have been a fly on the wall.
Please don’t get me wrong, yours is a vital and noble path that brings both great joy and tremendous grief to those you serve. You are part of very special memories for a great many people and along with taking an order correctly, keeping the glasses full and bringing hot food to the table you should also be able to make it all a great experience no matter what your superiors or personal life throws at you. Or, do something else.
I have to totally disagree with your assertion that servers give themselves too much credit when they tell “stiff” stories. Believe me, when I do a terrible job with a table, I expect a terrible tip. It happens sometimes, despite the best intentions of your server. You forget to ring in food, drop something, the bar is taking forever with drinks, the kitchen is backed up, something comes out with the wrong modifiers and has to be remade. In short, mistakes happen, despite the server’s ability and willingness to give you the best dining experience possible. When this happens, I rarely expect a good tip, and am generally humbled and grateful when people see that I am having a crappy night and give me a “pity tip” anyway.
However, many times, you give guests your all and things go swimmingly, only to find that the person has no idea of social etiquette in the United States. Once, I served a party of 10. It was a birthday, so we did the whole birthday song and clap and everything. I was in a great mood that day and was generally on my game, so I had some extra time to make the little girl’s birthday extra special. I brought out extra balloons, plus free sundaes for her two siblings (against company policy) and just generally made sure the party was taken care of. After collecting all of the guests’ credit card slips after they had left, not a single person had left me even one cent. I don’t know if they thought that the tip was included because it was a larger party (it was not — our manager took away our auto-gratuity abilities after some servers were using it as a method of racial profiling) or if maybe they thought the birthday girl’s mom and dad were going to handle the tip or what, but at the end of the day, I PAID the other staff in the restaurant $2 each (total of $8) out of my pocket to wait on that table. Now, $8 doesn’t sound like much to you, I’m guessing, but it’s obvious from this amount that I don’t work at a 4 star restaurant like SNS. I should have gotten a tip of at least $15 if the guy only tipped 10%, and instead I was paying out $8. You do the math. That’s a good chunk of my earnings, gone for the night.
It really does happen, a LOT, where you will give the same polite, courteous, and prompt service to two similar tables, and come out with 20-30% from one and less than 10% from the other. And there is nothing we, as servers, can do to change the way that second table tips (or doesn’t tip, as may be more appropriate). We do our best, we work our asses off, and some people just simply do not understand that we are most definitely NOT in this industry because it is easy. It is far from easy, and it takes a very special type of person to do it.
I’m guessing that you have never worked in the service industry, Robert, because you haven’t mentioned it and you don’t seem to have a clue how things work. You should learn what things your server can control, and base your tip on how well the server handles those aspects of the dining experience. Perhaps this could be a topic for a future post, SNS?
Look back at “The Restaurant Is a Finely Tuned Machine… Well, sort of”. It talks about all the normal things that could go wrong during your dinner.
Hey SNS
I too found you via the MSN article referencing the RD article (as it seems most everyone else has). My only foray into food service was delivering pizzas in college, but most of my close friend have worked or still work in service – so I’ve heard plenty of stories which are eerily similar to your postings in my time. I work in IT now, so end-user ignorance is incredibly prevalent there as well (my first IT job was six months on a help desk – gah). My lack of faith in the human race has been solidified by the posts in your blog – some people never learn.
Anyway, great reads – keep it up
Actually “Lisa” I have worked in the industry but for some reason always found myself in the position of manager very quickly so didn’t quite get into the server trenches for very long.
Truth is in my current industry there are a great deal of times I work my tail end off and spend some marketing money and never even get the courtesy of a thank you so I must say that getting a guaranteed wage and the usual tip sounds like you’re getting a pretty good deal.
As you progress in life I’m sure you’ll find you really have nothing to complain about in your current gig.
Also you’ll find that it’s you that champions your own destiny so it’s up to you to keep your people on their game and do your very best all the time… you have no one else to blame for a bad tip but yourself.
“Robert”, there are many thankless jobs in this world. The fact that you keep your steady paying job is your boss’ way of saying “thank you”. You doing a great job in your profession means you’re always able to pay your bills, whereas in our industry, we could do a great job and still get tipped poorly, making it harder for us to pay ours. That you continue to receive business should be a congratulations on a job well done, “Robert”. What do you want, a plaque?
Since “we have no on else to blame for a bad tip but ourselves”, it’s our fault if we get a bad tip because that a customer doesn’t know proper tip procedure? There are millions of people around this country that truly believe that $5 is a good tip on a $100 check. So, we should blame ourselves because that person is ignorant of restaurant etiquette? The fact of the matter is that no matter how great of service we provide, there are people who are still set in their ways and will not change their tipping procedure, even if it means leaving what we’d consider to be a bad tip.
I can’t stand those people who respond to someone’s complaint of a bad tip by saying “well, maybe it was poor service”. Most of the time a waiter knows if they gave that table poor service or not. It’s only when they give great service are they truly upset about bad tippers.
You obviously misunderstand, my job is anything else but “steady” and I’m paid strictly based upon my performance alone as well as the cooperation of my “people”. That’s how I know what it takes to solicit the compensation required for what I do on a day to day basis.
As for the comment “restaurant etiquette” I get a chuckle when I hear (read) that from a server in the RD article and in this blog. The only “restaurant etiquette” I know is don’t blow your nose at the table and eat with your mouth closed, the whole tipping thing is not etiquette based it’s more a tradition created by restaurant owners that didn’t want to pay high wages. There’s no rule of courtesy that states you have to pay the restaurant overhead and the staff offset as well. The fact that servers feel it’s owed is an insult in my book. Let’s get it straight, it’s a “gift” not a matter of obligation.
A “gift” is something that has no strings attached, meaning that you don’t expect anything in return. A tip is more of a “pre-understood agreement”, in that it is understood between both parties that you expect to get good service and I expect to receive a proper tip for providing said service. If you walk into that restaurant and don’t expect to leave a tip, then you should walk on down the street to McDonald’s where it’s not expected.
Your job is exactly as I said before. If you work harder and “solicit compensation” from people, then you make more money. Even if you’re in direct sales where you work strictly on commission, the harder you work and the more calls you make, the more money you’ll earn. It doesn’t matter how hard we in the restaurant industry work to please our tables if they don’t understand proper tipping procedure. We could work 10 hour days, non-stop and still make less than minimum wage if our customers don’t know how to tip.
Oh, and if your restaurant etiquette consists only of not blowing your nose at the table and eating with your mouth closed, then you should really go back and read my past blog posts about how a customer should act in a restaurant. That’s also “restaurant etiquette”.
Actually, servers getting tips did not originate because fat cat bosses do not want to pay their servers a higher minimum wage. I believe SNS addressed in a previous post that the overhead in a restaurant is ridiculously high. The start up cost of a restaurant is huge (when done properly), chefs/cooks are paid decently high wages along with some other members of the staff, not to mention the cost of the food that is served. It is true that some menu items are ridiculously overpriced for the cost of the raw materials that go into it (pasta, I’m lookin at you), but other menu items are priced not all that much higher than their costs. Add to that the cost of food that is thrown out at the end of the night that can not be used the next day, food that spoils before it is used, raw materials that are purchased but not up to the restaurant or chef’s standards, and food that is wasted accidentally (being dropped, overcooked, etc.) and you have a VERY high cost. It is the kitchen manager’s job to make sure that this is managed appropriately, but sometimes the public just doesn’t eat as much of one item as anticipated in a given amount of time. Food is expensive, and when you are purchasing restaurant quality ingredients, you tend to pay more. At a typical chain restaurant, add the cost of the raw materials, the cost of the training of the chef who prepares it (more for nicer restaurants, obviously), and then add a few dollars on top of that and there is the cost of your food. Restaurants have to turn a pretty decent amount of tables in order to make a decent profit in a night. If you don’t want to tip your server, or wish to see the practice of tipping abolished, then you had better be prepared to pay many many times the cost of the raw ingredients in your food.
Already, the place I work charges $10 for a burger. Who would even want to step foot in the restaurant if tipping was abolished and the burger then cost $20? The burger could not be prepared any differently, because that would raise the price of the raw materials and thus the cost overall. What sane person would go to a restaurant such as the one that I work at and pay $20 for one burger? I sure as hell wouldn’t. In short, the reason that servers are paid abhorrently low wages and depend on tips is because the restaurant wants to keep the cost of the meal down for YOU.
Take your pick: $20 for one burger at a chain restaurant or $10 and a 15% tip of $1.50?
I like your math, however amusing as it may be, I think many would have to admit it’s a bit lofty. I do agree that a “tipless” atmosphere would be as convenient as a price tag that includes sales tax however. Also, I really don’t think a restaurant owner in their right mind would pay much more than minimum wage plus a couple of bucks for any server. Therefore the added $10 to the burger is unrealistic at best. Actually in any business market rate prevails, so for the few that are willing to pay for your expensive burger I think the restaurant choices would be few.
Now that the topic is grounded a bit I would rather pay $15.00 when I want the atmosphere and $6.00 for a decent burger to eat in my car instead of risking offending the likes of you all…
And I’m sure we’d rather have you go eat that $6.00 burger you can eat in your car than have you as a customer, Robert.
Last thing I’ll toss in before I let this topic die, since there is no educating the unwilling.. the $10 added fee is not an exaggeration. I will be the first to admit that, among other reasons, I am in the serving for the money. Anyone who denies that is lying to your face. I am a server because I like to be social, I like an active work environment, I enjoy the flexibility of the schedule, I like the hours, and the money is usually pretty good. However, on some nights, the money is just NOT worth the shit that you have to take from people. This is not the 18th century. As the blog title suggests, your server is NOT your slave. We are human beings, who enjoy being treated as such, not as servants to be ordered around. Generally, when your server is being courteous, genial, and accommodating, it is sincere. We do NOT run around at your every beck and call just to get a great tip. We do it because it is our job, and we live by the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. We are polite and courteous because that’s the way our mothers raised us. I think a lot of people are seeing this blog in the wrong light. This is not just a bunch of servers griping about people who are cheap and it’s never OUR fault and there should just be a mandatory 80% tax added on for gratuity because for god’s sake we want MORE MORE MORE money! This is a bunch of servers griping about being treated as subhuman for making one mistake or having one bad night.
I absolutely guarantee that if you only paid servers “minimum wage plus a couple of bucks” you would have VERY few servers and VERY poor service from the ones that were left. McDonald’s pays “minimum wage plus a couple of bucks”. Nothing against McDonald’s but I have had FAR more experiences with poor service and low quality food at McDonald’s than I have at restaurants where you have to tip. If the people that were working at McDonald’s became the people that were waiting on me at a 4 star restaurant.. (Please, this is not intended as an insult or a slight to those that work at McD’s. I am sure that if you are intelligent enough to be reading this, you are NOT one of those who I have gotten bad service from.) In order to get good servers to stay in the industry, you would have to pay them at least as much as they make hourly in tips on a DECENT shift. That’s about $20-25 an hour at my restaurant, much more at others. Of course, you’re going to say, “But.. just sell one $20 burger and there is your wage!” There are other staff members that get tipped out but may not have tables. On a given night, there are 5-7 bussers, 2 mixos (1 takes tables, 1 only mixes drinks), 2-3 expos, and 1-2 food runners. Add up all of those people who are no longer receiving tips, and add on a decent amount to their wage to assure that you have quality workers, and $20 for a burger served by non-tipped staff seems almost too low.
So yes, many people who are in the food service industry are in it because it is decent money, in addition to the perks I listed above. However, that does NOT mean that you should tie your tip to a string and make your server perform tricks for it. We are human beings. Most of the time, when your server is being nice to you, it’s because they WANT to be nice, not because they are mentally calculating how much each smile or pat on the back is going to increase their tip.
In California Uncle Sam assumes that servers are indeed receiving these “gifts” and are taxed on the amount of their sales. If someone stiffs their server, the server is still taxed for that sale. There is a common understanding that a tip is expected in America, “a matter of obligation”.
And Robert, to state that if a worker doesn’t like it then they should find another job is ridiculous, especially in our current economy. Jobs are hard to come by. It’s really hard to just go out and get another one.
The main focus of this blog is as a forum for a server to vent, peppered with lessons and information for those not in the industry. That’s it. Pretty simple to me.
Sounds like your beef should be with Uncle Sam and not the consumer. Besides that, if you feel you’re limited by the current job market then you’re the one limiting your own horizon. There are lots of jobs out there if you do your due diligence…
As for the forum, the owner of this blog doesn’t do much in the way of keeping this site honest. If he doesn’t like a post he simply deletes it, says little of the integrity.
Good luck,
RG
I only delete posts when they are personal attacks, made purposefully to incite negative remarks or are unacceptably derogatory towards people who work in the service industry. Or spam. I delete spam, too. Other than that, I read and approve everything else.
There are people who read this blog fairly regularly, or even just come to talk openly about the restaurant industry and its customers without consequence. I’m glad I can provide a place for these good people to vent just as I do and the last thing I’d want is for them to get so frustrated arguing with some other stranger about a topic that they decide to not visit the site anymore. Nothing in this world is 100% honest. Part of being the blogwriter/site owner is also being a moderator for comments. If I read comments that are vitriol, I will delete them. If you don’t agree with that, then that’s your business. If I were to allow 100% of the comments I read, that in and of itself would put into question the integrity of the website.
Your view is a little skewed. You don’t have nearly enough front of the house experience to be an expert or have a position to advise diners what to do or expect. I suggest you either apply your degree to whatever it is you are supposed to do with it, or go work in a bigger town with bigger restaunts….
I never said I was an expert. This blog is based around my experience. Whether you decide to agree with what I say or not is up to you, but it’s all right to me.
Different country, different practices, i guess. But i did enjoy reading all these. It was very informative. i’m not from the said industry, but at least i’ll know what to do, when i visit the States. You’re an interesting person, SNS. Thanks for the read.
I really think that owners of restaurants should pay their servers decently, and include the service in the price of the food, as it is done in France. This whole idea of “tipping” IS 18th century. I fully respect servers, they do a really hard job, and they should all be paid decently for the job they do, not just hoping to be tipped and expect customers to know about the “tipping procedure”.
Anyway, I enjoy your blog very much, it’s smart and funny, and rare too, as I don’t think many college graduate decide to become servers.
Hey
I love your post!! I agree with just about everything I have read on here. My sister used to be waiting on tables until she just this past year got moved up to an office job and I know from her what you say is true. What I think a lot of people here don’t get is that about 98% of waiters and waitress DO put effort in. I mean they want to say well you should do this and that but really do we go to their jobs and say well you should do this that? No I think everything just about you have said in here is right on the mark. On the topic of tipping, really it should be about effort though. the lowest I have tipped is $1 cause the waiter came took our order, gave us food and picked up the check. So in an hour and a half I saw him 3 times and it was not busy in the place. I watched him talk to some other waitress trying to hook up with her. On the other end however I went to eat at village in. It was late a night not too many people again and my server had me and 3 other people. Now according to him my food was late getting out, to me it was on time. He did have one table which caused him problem as they all paid separtely and had some other problem ( I over heard some of the convo). He however comped me my drink and a free pie. He didn’t have to, the food was maybe, maybe 5 min late, not cold and just as good. I gave him a 50% tip of 5 on a 9.50 check cause he was a good server. He even came around 3 times to refill my drink in the 1 hour I was there and I was eating alone!! I knew he was tired we had talked a bit as I was his second to last table and I knew he wasn’t about tips. I mean I don’t look like I have money I look like a broke college kid cause well I sometime am. Anyway tips just depend on the waiter/waitress. I think most people need to realize that really a 10% to 20% is good unless you either have horrible service or outstanding service
the first thing i read when i visit any blog is the “about me” section. I must say, for a well educated person, it must really be your passion to serve! kudos to that!
SNS,
Found the blog from RD. I was a server for about 4 years in a well known chain. Reading your blog reminds me of those 4 years. Your blog is great, so true, so funny, and very entertaining!
Thanks. I’ll keep reading!
-Missi
i love your blog! keep it going!!
My grandfather has been in the restaurant business for 40+ years and constantly comes home with horror-and triumph- stories about the biz. I showed him your blog last week-and he thinks you’re awesome. He said, and I quote, “If more people read this blog, less customers would be pains in my ass.”
Keep up the great work.
Servernotslave, I have a question that I’m hoping you can answer. Or, if not you, maybe one of the many restaurant experienced people here. My only experience working in a restaurant is fast food, so no former waiter or waitressing experience.
Scenario here….. a group of 14 of us went out to a busy restaurant on a Saturday night for dinner. We had reservations, so had no problem getting seated. Service was slow, but I expected this from this particular restaurant. However, my problem was that the waiter mixed up my order. He entered the wrong thing in the machine by mistake. When the food was brought to the table, he was nowhere around (I assume he was busy with other tables) and the food was brought by several different people (food runners, I think). Two of us were missing our food, and an extra dish (that he had entered for me) was brought. We told the food runners “Nobody ordered that.” They literally shrugged and left it in the middle of the table. I asked about my food and they said they didn’t know. So, over 5 minutes later, our server comes back to do the whole “How is everything” line. I said “I never got my order, and they brought that but that isn’t it. He hasn’t gotten his yet either.” He remembered what I ordered but went back and checked and realized he’d entered it wrong. My friend’s food was up by that point so he brought it. By the time my entree was finally up, most of my friends were finished eating. The others were almost done. At any point, would it have been acceptable (say about 10 minutes into the second wait) to cancel the order as I could tell it was about to be 13 people waiting for me to finish? Or would that have been rude? I was especially annoyed with the food runners who just shrugged when it was somewhat obvious the wrong food had been brought. When I finally got my food, I had to rush through it because I felt like all my friends were waiting. Then, when the bills came, our server acted like he did me a huge favor by charging me for the thing he rang up by mistake instead of what I actually ordered. (The price difference was less than a dollar.)
I know mistakes happen, so I still tipped almost 20% (I think it worked out to like 19% or something, but that was just the numbers.) So it’s not like I wanted a free meal or was really mad or anything. So I really just wondered if it would be okay to cancel an order especially if they hadn’t started making it yet, or if that would have been incredibly rude.
Thanks for writing Dana. Yes, it’s common for your scenario to happen. Often times a restaurant’s Point of Sale system is complicated and especially if your server is “relatively new, he or she might make mistakes in ringing in food (adding things, accidentally leaving them off, etc). Now, when you told the food runner you didn’t order it and some things were missing, that person should have apologized for the mistake, removed the item, and immediately informed your waiter of the problem. Your server should have then immediately gone to your table to confirm that there had been an issue. The server should have then immediately gone to the kitchen, asked for your wanted items “on the fly” and told the manager to fix the problems that were rung up on the ticket. You should have gotten your wanted food in less than 10 minutes later.
It is certainly okay for you to cancel your order if they hadn’t started making it. In fact, whenever this happens to me, I usually will change my order to something I know will be made quicker, such as an entree salad or pasta. I’ll say to the server “you know what, can I get a ‘Southwest Salad” instead?” or something to that effect. Personally, I wouldn’t have left 20%, but that’s just me. A 20% tip to me says that the server was close to being flawless in his or her service. I would have left 15%.
Any tip at all tells your server that his crappiest service is still acceptable. should have complained to the manager and left zero tip. The server could have taken by your action that next time he should comp the entire meal.
Also, KUDOS to “Robert”, I love his input, it seems to come from the heart of the consumer side of this blog!
Robert and Roger- now there’s a double d- poosh? if I ever saw one. And Robert even served before!? He of all “consumers” should get SNS’s point of view.
DD: What part of “Refusing to tip the customary percentage based on purely the serve’s performance is STIFFING (VERY akin to “stealing from”) the ENTIRE restaurant staff, including that chef who probably prepared you a wonderful meal in and of itself or that bartender who poured your cocktail heavy handed so you go a great buzz” do you not understand?!?! PLEASE PLEASE tell us what part you don’t get so the highly composed SNS (more than I’d be in his place) and other wizened professionals can lay it out for you two once and for all. I suppose you both disagree with the assertion implied by the name “Server NOT slave”. We are slaves to you huh? Must be nice to find ice cream in your toilet. (Sorry SNS, I know this is a way old thread but I got to speak up here. )
I also found your blog from Readers Digest and I love it!! I waited tables when my son was young before I went back to college and although I loved it most days I love your honesty and humor that you write with! Serving tables definately shows you the best and worst of people. Keep up the good work
I too found your site through RD and straight away checked it out.
I waitress at for one of the largest franchise restaurants in New Zealand. While we don’t have the tipping culture (it’s franchise policy to NOT have a tip line on the bill), we consider ourselves lucky if we get $5. Most of the time we have to settle for a “Wow, our waitress was fantastic” comment at the till.
Despite the tipping thing, it would seem that restaurant issues are the same worldwide. This is such a relief.
Be thankful you don’t have to listen to the same country music playlist every shift. It’s worse when you start requesting the ‘good ones’.
Keep up the posts, it’s good to know others share the pain!
Caity
SNS, this is my new favorite blog! I have four years of server experience under my belt, in two small, independently-owned restaurants and one well-known chain steakhouse, and reading your posts gives me some kind of catharsis as I sit here identifying with nearly everything you discuss. Thank you for writing such a TRUE, well-articulated, entertaining blog!
I have never left a reply on a blog before but now that I stumbled upon this one I feel I must! I have been a server for 8 years and actually really enjoy my job. I delight in bringing amazing food to a guest and making their night not merely satisfactory, but special. Sadly, it’s not always possible. I’m working with an inept manager who is somewhere on their cell phone, one of the line cooks dosen’t speak english and screwed up a dinner, the laziest server that I work with called in sick…again. Sometimes when all these things are going on the only people I truly enjoy are the guest. It’s Friday night, they are relaxed and happy. They don’t know the turmoil going on in the kitchen or that my bartender is drunk again( why isn’t he fired?) Unfortunately, with the good comes the bad. Some guests are so rude I feel sorry for them, I chalk it up to the fact that they are completly ignorant of manners. Even people who have posted to this blog to rant and rave about servers complaining, as if servers don’t have a right to vent. For every one story about cold food or one missed water refill I have about ten stories of not being slightly insulted but downright verbally abused. Not only by a guest, but by a manager, or a pissy executive chef who is in the middle of a messy divorce. When I know that a table was upset for a legitimate reason I feel sincerely bad. It messes up my night because it means a lot to me to perform well at my job. I think part of growing as a human is to want to be knowledgeable and see things from other peoples point of you. I try to educate myslef constantly and pride myself on being respectful not only to my server but to my grandma, my insurance guy, my husband, the self server 17 year old yogurt clerk, etc. That is why I really enjoy this blog. It dosen’t try to attack it tries to inform, something I think we can all gain from.
Interesting. I worked as a waitress when I was younger & in school. Now I am a mother of four who eats out either alone or with family or friends. I can see both sides of the equation. Basically, it comes down to both parties being considerate and respectful of the other. When either party fails in that, then somebody is going to wind up being unhappy. I usually have very positive experiences when dining out. I also give return business to the restaurants that have treated me well. The fact I live in the South (Georgia) might just have something to do with that. Although there are good & bad people wherever you go, the South is universally recognized for its’ hospitality. I have lived elsewhere, but greatly prefer the caring you can experience in the South – even from absolute strangers. : )
I have been working as a server/bartender for 5 years inside the airport, I have dealt with some of the rudest people and some of the nicest people, I enjoy my job, We put up with sometimes the worst tippers (have been in the Restaurant/Bar industry for 25 years in management owner positions) Our worst customers are the foriegn customers who leave nothing on $150.00 bill, because in their country it is included in the bill, the customers who receive vouchers from the airlines, I guess they think the airline will compensate us, (THEY DON’T) and the ones who are so pissed off at the airlines, that they need to take it out us. Incompentant Managers, cooks who couldn’t care less how long it takes. The ones who walk out with signed copy of thier credit card and the ones that just walk out, cause they mostly get away with it, (I have gone onto planes to catch the some of these walkouts, and ran down the concourse looking for them) because these restaurants are deducting our paychecks now for these walk outs. I did have another customer who actually gave $50.00 for one of my walk outs bills, because he knew I would be penalized for it, those are the people we rarely have. We have the people who can clearly see the place is packed, and want their food within 5 minutes, because they have a plane to catch, and if they order to go they think it will come out quicker, or the guy who is blames me because his drink costs $8.00 and his beer is $6.00, the ones who order water and don’t touch it, and let their kids play with the condiments and make some of the biggest messes and leave $2.00. Guess what? we know your in a hurry, we know you have a plane to catch, but if you don’t have at least 45 minutes, then you need to go to Burger King or Subway!! and when I cut you off, I did it for your own good, because that airline is not gonna let you fly drunk!! (of course you stiffed me) For the most part most people in the airport understand what we put up with daily, but you know there is always that 1 person that has just got to make our lives miserable. I do Love my job!!!
P.S. Robert, you just need to stay home, and I hope you never come into my Restaurant, although, You probably already have!!!
Hello SNS,
I just want to thank you for all your hard work. Please, keep up the good work. I worked half of my life in restaurants. I understand everything that you said. I worked as a waiter for the casinos in Atlantic City for 5 years and I think I saw everything. My only tip to you right now and I would like to tell you more, but English is my second language and my writing skills are not as well as yours. We as customers, we all have a sign hanging around our necks that says “MMFI” (Make Me Feel Important.”) It is up to us the great servers and not the “slaves” to provide an excellent experience to them if they treat us with respect and dignity.
Thank you for your time and to all of your members.
Have a great day at work>
Jorge G.
SNS,
Like the blog. As a waitress during college and now a secretary we have a lot of common experiences. Good luck during restaurant week!
Sincerely,
The Secretary
http://www.secretaryfiles.com
http://twitter.com/#!/SecretaryFiles
I hit upon ur site by accident and I immediately subscribed.I think ur hilarious!
Much appreciated, thank you!
In response to ROBERT’s comment about servers not realizing their tips are affected by the service they bring. not true. thats pretty much all we think about. in fact if theres a two top in my section that ordered water, the free bread and the cheapest pasta..chances are i might end up neglecting them for a little bit over my 8 top thats celebrating a birthday and ordering bottles of wine and dessert. im well aware of my tips and the service i provide. im also well aware that the two top is gonna leave me 3 bucks and the 8 top has the potential to leave me 20. go ahead, call me greedy. thats how this job works.
also, when you said that our tips are in jeopordy over the temperature of the food..now thats just ridiculous. If im waiting on your table, im def not cooking the food in the kitchen. How would it be my fault if your food was warm instead of hot. would you like me to try it before i give it to you next time instead?? the cooks dont give a shit if my tip is jeapordized because they made a mistake. FYI.
that being said, these blogs are awesome. I have been in this industry for 4 long years now and have just recently taken to calling it my slave job. so of course this website caught my attention. I cant wait to get out of it because i have found that people treat people like shit. there are occasionally the respectful guests that im sure have kids or loved ones or they were themselves in customer service and therefore they understand. but for the most part. people dont look you in the eye, they snap and rattle their glasses, and when they need something they talk to you with their mouths full of food. then on the way out the door they commend your wonderful service with what i like to call a verbal tip, “you were wonderful! excellent service” and when you go to check the bill theres a whopping 12% gratuity. yay, time to go pay rent.
Dear SNS,
I want to thank you for having the courage to speak your mind on the business of serving and everything that goes along with it. My name is Marisol and I was in the industry for seven years. I have recently quit after working 5 years at Longhorn Steakhouse, a restaurant owned by Darden. I quit because the regional manager was harassing me. I was mentally harassed and discriminated based on sex and national orgin. I couldn’t believe it! I was a hardworking employee but was being treated like a SLAVE. As a matter of fact my regional manager said and I quote “If you want to work for Mc Donald’s I can make that happen for you” I was so appalled that I responded with saying what? and again he repeated the later statement. I then proceeded to tell him and I quote ” I am a server not a servant and I would appreciate if you talked to me with respect the same I give you.”
I would like to know if you have heard or known of such harassment going on at any Darden Restaurants?……(Longhorn Steakhouse, Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Capitale Grill, Bahama Breeze,and Smokey Bones) Darden is constantly swapping their managers to different locations so for example a manager that is not ethically fit to manage may get transferred to another location to avoid firing or laying off that specific manager and then causing intolerable working conditions to occur at a different location. This needs to be stopped and those managers need to be retrained appropriately.
Regards,
Marisol