Submit your questions here.
In this section, readers can submit their own questions about my experiences, or the restaurant industry in general. Want to know what it’s like to be a waiter, or why things happen the way they do? Any questions that are approved will be moved to the body of this page and answered for all the world to see!
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How, in a restaurant chain setting, does a higher net sales lower COGS when every venue in the chain has to buy the same products, and nothing but the same products, at the same price?
If I am understanding your question correctly … The more products you sell lowers the cost of goods because vendors will lower their prices as an incentive to buying their product …. Same thing with food costs – a 30% food cost is ideal but you can support a higher food cost if you are selling a ton of it … Volume trumps all!
Interesting question! I didn’t mean for this section to be a quiz, but to answer your question, I’d imagine food waste would be the answer, but I may be wrong. Naturally, higher volume restaurants will generally use more product than a lower volume restaurant. Especially in a corporate chain restaurant where you cannot tailor the items you purchase and menu to the clientèle that you are serving. The Cost of Goods also accounts for the total cost of the goods that have to be thrown out, either because of overrings or going bad.
A restaurant can never be certain which of their menu items customers will order, so they take past reports to determine the commonality of customers ordering a certain item and order goods accordingly. However, one week you might sell a lot of chicken, the next week a lot of beef. Because you now have to throw out all the extra chicken that has gone bad, your COGS rises.
In a higher volume restaurant, waste accounts for less COGS than a lower volume restaurant because the odds are that you will use that product regardless. Especially if say, you run out of the beef, because you ordered less than chicken which had sold more last week. You now have to 86 that item from the menu, forcing the customers to choose the chicken anyway. Therefore, your COGS decreases.
Does this sound correct in your mind?
Less of a question, more of a comment. I eat out a lot and although I have never waited tables, I have had jobs where my income relied on tips. Everyone is human but I must say that a little smile, a simple apology and an attempt to take care of the other person goes a long way on both sides.
I live in New Orleans which is notorious for bad service, but am from California where the service was almost always good- and my biggest pet peeve about waitstaff is when they are rude. Honestly- mess up my order, bring it out undercooked, forget my dinner salad, forget to give me my check- I don’t care, just be polite about it and I will do the same; and you’re ensured a good tip. Most waitstaff I have encountered are kind but those who are not should find another profession; because for pete’s sake, it ruins everyone’s night when a waiter is a jerk. As for the customers- they’ll never change.
Good luck in your job, I know it’s a toughie.
You won’t get bad service at places like Brennan’s, Galatoire’s, Commander’s Palace, or any of those great restaurants in New Orleans.
I have had this experience twice in the same restaurant in the past 3 months. Not a fancy place, lovely dinner, good service, paid in cash at the table.. and the server brings back only the cash portion of the change, no coin. I appreciate when people bring change back small bills because I certainly won’t be pressured to leave large bills as a tip because that’s all I have, but to not bring the coin? I don’t care if it’s 37 cents, it’s my 37 cents until I give it to you. Honestly, the first time I was so shocked I left a good tip anyway and didn’t say anything. The second time I figured he had kept his tip and I told the manager on the way out that if our server wanted to know why we didn’t leave a tip it was because he took it in advance.
What’s your take on this?
That’s funny. We actually used to do this at the Italian Restaurant. We didn’t really want to carry around pocket change, so we’d round up or down. Say if the bill is $14.15 and you gave a $20 bill. We’d just give you $6 back and eat the fifteen cents. However, like you said, if the bill is $14.63, we might round up to $15, and give you $5 back. Your waiter probably did this as well. The 37 cents he took from you probably made up for a small change he ate a few tables ago. It’s not proper practice, nor is it right to do, but some people still do it. I just wanted you to know what was probably the case.
What is the single most annoying thing a customer can possibly do?
Speak.
No, I’m kidding. Everyone has their own personal pet peeves, but mine would be camping.
I had a drunk guy (he came in that way) pee himself (and my floor) while eating a steak …
Great blog, I’m not in the restaurant industry but I find it interesting.
This started out to be a question, but I think I already figured out the answer. Why is it that a waiter wouldn’t give you a detailed check? Because it’s probably easier not to, one less step to do on the register.
I realize that I can ask for it, but I’m not a camper, when I’m done eating I’m ready to get out of there, so generally I won’t ask for the check, I’ll just hand my debit card to the waiter/waitress when they’re near the table to save an extra trip to the register and back to the table. Not talking fine dining here, just family restaurants/bar & grill type places.
90% of the time I just get back the slip with the total bill to sign. Usually it’s not a big deal, but sometimes I don’t know what to tip because I don’t know what got comped.
I live in Las Vegas, my wife may play some video poker while we’re waiting for food, her drink was free, was mine? Sometimes. I’m going to tip more if it was but I usually don’t know, I’m trying to remember menu prices that I barely looked at to try to figure it out.
I told a waitress after I finished a beer that the glass was chipped and she should throw it away, she said it was on the house but I said no, charge me for it. Did she charge me? I have no idea, but I would tip her $3 or $4 more if she didn’t.
So, I guess more of a pet peeve than a question, you don’t like it if I leave the wrong copy of the check, I don’t like it when you never bring me the check even if I don’t ask for it. I know people will say just ask for it then, but really, I’m just trying to tip fairly and you’re not making it easy for me.
Well, Jim, I think you’re in the minority here. Most customers will say something to inform us that they’re ready for the check, so either we go get it or we have it ready for you. I do the same thing you do, in regards to handing the server my card before seeing the bill. I know I’m going to have to pay for it, so why do I need to see it? In your situation, however, you do have to take into consideration that you’re getting items comped, so your final total will be adjusted. I understand that you have a pet peeve that the waiter doesn’t bring you a copy of the check, but you can’t complain that the waiter doesn’t understand that you want a copy of the check if you just hand them your debit card. In our minds, you don’t care what the bill says, so why bring it to you? This situation is completely remedied just by asking for a copy of the check, wouldn’t you think? Sure, in a perfect restaurant world, a waiter will always bring a copy of the check, but some just don’t.
Leaving the wrong copy of the check is a different issue, though. We don’t like it if you leave the wrong copy of the check because most often people do not write anything on the customer copy. I’ve had a few occasions where a customer had written the tip on the store copy and taken that, leaving the empty customer copy. You may have given us a 30% tip, but we won’t get it because you took the wrong copy.
These days in most restaurants the ticket has been computer generated and is itemized, so the customer can clearly see that they have been charged for all that they ordered and what each item costs. Some like me are still in the stone age and hand written tickets prevail. I insist that my servers itemize their tickets, they don’t like it, but the customer wants to see that the six margaritas cost $8 each and yes, we did charge for round you ordered for the table next to you. By delivering a ticket with just the total will lead to the inevitable “I couldn’t have possibly ordered that much” And I have known servers to gouge a ticket if they thought they could get away with it. Detailling works.
Serving 40-50 hours a week for my entire highschool and college career has done absolutely nothing for my cooking skills. I’m usually at work for all my major meals and if I’m not, I really enjoy being on the other side of the table/bar, so I go out to eat.
One thing that I do when I’m looking over the check at the end of my meals is actually think about what the server/bartender did for every item listed. Yeah, it only says coke once, but I had 3. I got the spinach dip, and I also got a refill on chips that’s not listed. All it says for my entree is “Chicken a la whatever” but I substituted sides, and got the sauce on the side and also asked for ranch after the fact. The list goes on and on.
I just wish that when my guests looked at their checks, they don’t just look at the numbers and dollar signs. That check is there because I made it happen! Remember that!
I stumbled upon your site and found it interesting.
I write a blog about working in the food service industry, Even Idiots Order Pizza (evenidiotsorderpizza.blogspot.com). Would you ever consider collaborating on a few posts or doing some cross posting/linking?
Sure. Post a link on your site to my blog and I’ll do the same.
I often read comments from servers and customers about the serving of water in a restaurants and bars. As a server, upon first greeting a table it is customary to ask for a beverage order. I don’t care if your choice is a $8 margarita, or a glass of water, it is simply the customer’s choice. I personally want to slap anyone the responds with “no, I don’t want anything to drink, I’ll just have water.” Water is a beverage you idiot, I wasn’t asking you to guzzle a bottle of gin!
Eons ago, the restaurant industry determined that serving a glass of water costs .08 per glass. I am sure that has doubled. I am in management, and fret over costs all the time, do we need to start charging for water, or sever only bottled water, (as some do)?
As a customer, often my choice of beverage is water, and would I be upset to see a charge for it? I don’t think so, especially if my glass were kept full. Yes, sometimes people order water because they are cheap. My reasons are that maybe today I don’t want alcohol, caffine or anything sweet. Water tastes good and always compliments the food. I don’t believe that water needs to be set in front of every customer, but if a customer requests water the server should not cringe in discust, it is simply the beverage of choice.
Tipping?
Just discovered your blog, and am enjoying the info immensely. Was a ‘coffee girl’ long ago and have some empathy and stories from then, but not in the service industry since. Admittedly on the cheap side, I don’t eat out a lot, but when I do I work hard on being a ‘good’ customer and overcoming my cheapness to leave at least a fair to generous tip, and a little bit more when I can muster it mentally. What is fair, normal, and generous in your book so I can understand and behave appropriately? Have you already given guidelines or a rated chart on today’s tip standards (ie 5%-kill the customer, 50% give ‘em your card for home meal delivery, etc?)? thanks for your blog – entertaining and educational. Looking forward to your book!
If you dine alone, and dine cheaply, then you need to take into consideration what your waiter has lost also. If the restaurant is busy, a customer coming in to dine by themselves and spending very little money can mean a loss in the pocketbook, especially if that customer sits there for a long time. In my opinion, if you’re going to be dining cheaply, sitting at the bar is the best option (as I usually do). But, if you must sit at a table meant for four people, I suggest leaving a decent tip, unless your service was poor. $3 on a $12 check is great.
I realize and appreciate the importance of a waiter when dining out and have always been a good tipper (20-30%). My question is would it be better to give my waiter the tip at the begining of the meal instead of at the end? Assuming of course I know about what I’m spending, my thoughts are that if may help to get even better service. I’ve asked this of a couple of friends who work as waiters and they say yes but it may be they think it’s the answer I’m looking for. What’s your take on this approach?
Well, I certainly think that if you told your waiter that you were a 20% tipper for good service, you’d probably receive excellent service. However, should you NOT tip 20% if the waiter believes they gave you excellent service, then you’d probably be remembered the next time you go in – and not for good reasons.
I have a comment/question- from reading that article on Reader’s Digest, there’s a good number of them where it just seems like the waiter or waitress is lazy and doesn’t want to do what they are getting paid for. Such as the one where they tell you they’re out of a frozen blended drink when in reality they’re just too lazy to make it. Or one that is downright atrocious– “If you’re a vegetarian and you ask if we use vegetable stock, I’m going to say yes, even if we don’t. You’ll never know the difference.” If I ever meet a waiter that would do something like that, I would do my best to get him fired. Telling a customer that is like telling someone who is Muslim that what they are having is beef, when it’s actually pork. There are people who are vegetarian for religious reasons, and the “it doesn’t matter if they can’t tell” excuse is outrageous.
I usually tip 15-20% at restaurants, but if a waiter ever did that to me, I would leave no tip at all. I was wondering what is your take on situations such as those and very bad service, do you think the customer should still be required to tip? I know there’s all that stuff about tips being pooled and split, but seriously– if you are working in a team and someone fucks up, then no one is going to get the profit. It’s up to the restaurant manager (or whoever is in charge) to either reprimand that waiter and makes sure he doesn’t do it again, or to fire him if it’s repeated offenses.
Well, I certainly don’t think that telling a customer that stock is vegetable when it’s chicken is acceptable. I would never lie to a customer like that and I don’t think any other waiter should too. I’m sure somewhere there’s been lawsuits about that sort of stuff and it’s just something I don’t want to deal with.
it’s not just a matter of religion, it can also be a matter of allergies or disease. I’m borderline diabetic and I certainly don’t need to be given anything that has been adulterated which could exacerbate my condition.
Hey servernotslave! I’ve been following much of your blogs and it’s helped me understand alot about the serving industry. I do have a question though.
There’s an all-you-can-eat buffet that has employees who are somewhat like waiters, but don’t actually take orders other than the drinks you’d want to begin with. Then, every so often, they would pick up the plate that you’ve finished and take it away, and give you the check when you ask for it. I’m still eating out with my parents, so I’m lucky enough not to pay for the meals, but for future reference, should we tip these people?
Well, they are bringing you refills and picking up after you. They may not be a “waiter” in the respect that most people in the serving industry consider, but they still are performing a service for you by cleaning up after you. I usually leave a $2 tip when I go to a buffet. Gratitude is always better than no gratitude.
True, very true
Anyways, you’ve got great tips on being a good customer, and I’ll definitely keep that in mind the next time I go out to eat. Keep on writing man, and I’ll definitely keep coming back to read everything you put up haha.
And thanks!
hey, love your postings. totally remind me of my waitressing days. question: what do you (personally) do if someone doesnt leave you a tip? at the restaurants i’ve worked for (fine dining too), i’ve asked the manager to hunt those people down. usually they either forgot, grabbed the wrong slip of paper, etc.
Well I’m not sure what it says about me that you don’t have a link to my site in your blogroll, sir, either you just haven’t heard of me or you just hate my site! Either way, I really must endeavor to change that in any way I can! BTW, great job on your recent inclusion in the RD article – I’m writing my own (which will be posted in full by tomorrow at the latest) with my own opinions on each of the 50 points.
In the case that you’ve really not heard of my site, you should probably know that my posts are extremely straight forward and sometimes blunt to the point of brutality, which sometimes puts people off, though I personally think that kind of honesty is refreshing. I sincerely hope you feel the same way, and add a link to me (or at least visit sometimes and give me your opinions on things).
Again, great job on the article and I look forward to your first book!
Ribeye
RagewithRibeye
RagingServer.com
Put me on yours, and I don’t have any problem putting you on mine.
How do you feel about autograts? I worked in a restaurant that introduced autograts for parties of 8 or more. Most of the time we felt we would have been better off without it. If we could persuade the manager to remove it from the check, we almost always made better tips than what the system generated autograt would have been.
Personally, I think that autograts hurt the good servers (yeah, they can always leave you extra but most don’t) and reward the bad servers.
We were at a restaurant about a week ago as a party of 6. Two of our party are professionals in the industry and two others dine out frequently. All tip very well for excellent service. The service that night was not great. Not horrible but definitely not up to par for the restaurant. (The food came 3 minutes after the appetizers, we were always looking for drink refills, could never find our server when we needed him, etc. All service issues, not kitchen issues. The server was polite when he was around but needed to work on his timing. He only seemed to have one other table.) Anyway, we were a little shocked to see a 22% autograt on the bill. It definitely was not 22% tipworthy service. We just paid it and went our merry way but it really felt like he coasted through service because he knew a party of 6 would have an automatic tip on the bill.
Read other blog posts and comments. You’ll see my take on auto-grat. Like I’ve said before, if you don’t think your server’s service was worthy of the 22% auto-grat, tell a manager. Politely.
Charges were eventually dropped by the district attorney, but this couple was recently arrested for not paying an 18% autograt after receiving bad service:
College students arrested for not paying tip
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/70464072.html
Howdy!
I just wanted to make sure that the upcoming film, “Slammin’ Salmon” was on your radar. The owner of a restaurant institutes a contest to see which waiter can earn the most money in one night.
Here’s a link to the trailer:
Read more: http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/11/06/watch-this-new-trailer-for-broken-lizards-slammin-salmon/#ixzz0aScReNT9
Yep. I watched it on Apple.com/trailers. Looks pretty funny. I’ve always liked the Broken Lizard stuff.
Great blog. I have a couple questions/beefs: why do so many waiters and waitresses get so bent out of shape when they’re not referred to as “servers”? This PC thing is a bit over-the-top when someone would essentially rather be referred to as a servant than someone who waits on tables.
To me, calling someone a “server” is like calling someone a slave or a servant, implying they’re meant to “serve” the table, not “wait” on it. Maybe “waiter” or “waitress” isn’t preferred in the industry, but it sure doesn’t sound half as insulting as “servant.”
Is there a happy medium or a way to phrase “waiter” or “waitress” so restaurant employees won’t get so insulted? I just don’t have it in me to use the word “server” when it is giving into the PC police.
My next question/beef: I know it causes an uproar when a customer asks for a different table than the one originally assigned, presumably because the host/hostess (or am I insulting them by calling them a “host” or “hostess”? Maybe I should say “seater” to go with “server”?!?!) doesn’t want to triple-seat anyone of the waitstaff.
But, really, this is the most insulting thing to me as a customer. I take pride in being very courteous to the hosts and waitstaff, and always gratuitize over 20%, but the attitude thrown back at you when requesting a decent table location is really mind-boggling.
I’ll even offer to wait at the bar or offer to wait so no single waiter is over-seated. But there’s always a cold reaction to this. What bothers me the most is when there appears to be no rhyme or reason for the bad original seat assignment. For instance, putting someone next to the bathroom, next to the kitchen, front door, waiter station, or other high-traffic area, doesn’t make sense to the customer when we see so many open desirable open tables.
It honestly makes for a bad experience for me and my family when we are seated in a bad location when better options are out there. Inevitably, if you ask to be re-seated — again, in a cordial manner offering to wait if necessary — you’re given a huffy attitude. Then I’m worried that we’ll have to wait 10 minutes for the first visit by a waiter, followed by rude service.
My question is: how can you get a re-seasted (and I’m not referring to the times a restaurant is packed) after being placed in a bad table location, without having it ruin your service?
Thanks and please understand I sympathize with these stories you’ve submitted. I try to be a good customer but I feel like I’m paying for the ambience and service when I go out to eat.
KansasCityMark
“Waitron” is a pc, unisex name for your server. Also, a knowledgeable customer will know that asking to be moved will possibly throw a wrench in the cogs of the restaurant (even briefly). When I go out to eat and I’m seated somewhere I don’t want to, I kindly apologize for the inconvenience to both the host and the server. Trust me, letting your server know that you acknowledge the change and the possibility that it might throw them a curveball will get you much better service. In fact, you might actually receive better service by doing this.
Hey there
I often go out with my Dad to eat at some kind of restaurant. From the classy kind to the fast food kind. It doesn’t matter where we are, Dad’s usually on his phone, talking to clients. I am, too, but I text with my friends.
I put my phone away when the waiter comes to serve us, and so does Dad. He usually says something along the line of: “I’m gonna have ta call ya back.”
Do y’all waiters find that rude? To see people on the phone? Like, what I mean is, have you ever served a customer who was on the phone and didn’t bother to give you a few seconds to order their food?
I’m going to address that in a future blog post, actually. Some waiters won’t even come to your table if they see you on your cell phone. Others will make you get off the phone by standing there quietly, staring at you awkwardly until you get off. What you and your dad do is great. Unless you’re with a business associate or client, a meal is a meal, and it should be enjoyed peacefully, without business interruptions. It’s a good thing that you hang up the phone, or at least tell the person on the other line “hey, hold on a minute. I’m having lunch” and address your waiter.
Excellent site form what I’ve read through. I’ve never worked at any kind of food place, but I always try to be polite, and hate it when people treat the wait staff with any disrespect.
I have a severe shellfish allergy, & am wondering how much I can really trust a server to relay the information and the kitchen staff to take proper precautions where cross-contamination is concerned…?
99%. Make it very clear to your server that you have a severe allergy to shellfish. Your waiter is still human and doesn’t want to cause anyone pain directly, so they will be sure to tell the kitchen that you have a shellfish allergy, as it’s usually protocol to do so. Trust me, the waiter and restaurant do not want medical bills to pay for, nor a lawsuit to handle. Just make it clear about the allergy and don’t order anything that sounds shellfish-y.
I arrived at your site from an article on Yahoo about “secrets that your server won’t tell you”. My wife and I eat out a lot and I always try to be as easy to deal with as possible and reading your “Do’s and don’ts” article is very helpful. I’m a blog writer and I really enjoy your posts.
Seeing movies like “Waiting” and “Road Trip” really make me wonder what goes on in the kitchen….what’s the worst you’ve witnessed?
Do you have any habits or tricks that have guaranteed you a good tip?
Along with my questions, I have an observation…..
I hate when some servers ask how you want your food prepared if the cooks won’t cook it that way. I like steak medium rare and I like my burgers with a little pink and I get asked how I’d like it and then when I respond, some say “oh, sorry they can only go medium on that”….then why ask me?
Many places with burgers will not go below medium on them due to the quality of the ground beef. If they have higher quality meat, such as angus, medium rare and rare is possible. It simply is not safe for them to cook it medium rare for you if they meat quality is sub par.
(Not a question, just a comment. Hope this is the correct spot to add this.) We’re called SERVERS, not WAITERS anymore, for a reason…..we don’t wait, we serve! If you want me to stand there for 5 minutes while you’re still deciding what to order, sorry, I have a job to do and listening to your family banter isn’t part of it. I’ll just come back!
Hi,
This may seem like a goofy question but here it goes.
I really like this server at a restaurant I go to and want to ask her out. With the assumption that servers get hit on a lot I would like to ask her in a way that doesn’t look insincere.
Any hints on how I can accomplish this?
I liked your comment on the Yahoo and your article on the importance of reservations. I have never worked in this industry but I’ve heard that most places pools tips. (Tips are gathered at the end of the night and divided evenly between the staffs)
Is that correct? Is this practice rampant in the industry? Personally I thought this practice was horrible because it does not reward the server who gave the best service and rewards servers who do not work hard. Also, I heard of some restaurants where the management even takes a cut from this pool, is that correct?
It seems like the pooling tips practice is going out of the window, but it still does happen. I never agreed with it because, like you said, it rewards the slackers.
Thanks for the info ServerNotSlave. Your “waitron” name is perfect. I’ll use anything rather than the pretentious, overly pc “server.” I laugh at my friends who insist on being called servers, to the point where we get into it.
I actually make a point of using the words “waiter” or “waitress” to annoy if someone goes overboard with the “server” crap. To anyone who really wants to be a servant, more power to you. Serve me if that’s how you want to be perceived. Sorry ’bout it!
this is not a question per se, but a request. you may not be aware that the black background with red/white letters that you use is extremely hard to read due to the contrast. it makes it even more difficult when you specify the small font size that you do.
may I suggest that you consider a change? trying to read your interesting blog is a lot like trying to read a badly written menu in a dimly lighted restaurant. none of us really need to go blind.
thanks!
I’ll see what I can do.
As an aspiring busboy looking to move up. What is the best way to become a waiter?
Put in your time being a busboy and either ask your manager to train up or apply to another restaurant as a waiter.
hey i was just wondering why you call it serve not SLAVE
Why “Server Not Slave”? Because as servers, we’re still human and hard-working Americans just like you. The idea of a slave is that the person is below everyone else and not worthy of being treated as an equal. We’re not slaves.
I’m new to your blog and absolutely love it. I WILL tell a friend. I’ve noticed from several postings that some servers are having to pay 3% on credit card tips. Now I honestly don’t know the laws in all 50 states, but that is illegal in California. You are being charged a fee because your employer chose to accept Visa? I recommend that you call your local labor board and find out if this is okay. This can be done annonymously. The last place I worked in tried to employ this tactic. I did call the labor board and asked. I could have ratted them out, but I thought they were misinformed, not being malicious. Once they found out it was illegal the matter was dropped.That could add up to quite a few more $s in your pocket. Keep up the good work!
On another chatboard, someone asked about a current “trend” she had noticed, in which servers were no longer using trays to bring food out from the kitchen. She was concerned about food being crushed against someone’s chest.
I have been thinking about this now, and as a single diner, I am pretty sure I see this a lot. Obviously, big tables get trays, but I am pretty sure I have seen less trays than I used to.
The resposibility of cleaning the restrooms in my bar/restaurant oftens falls to me, I am also fussier, the restrooms are clean, nice fixtures, and step on trash cans, can someone explain to me why in the men’s room do they toss the used hand towels in the corner behind the trash can? I understand the pigs that spit gum and chew pouches in the urinal, but why the towel situation?
When is it ok no to leave a tip?
I am a 20y.o. Black male who often dines out and for the first time in my life I left a bad tip. I ususally tip 20-25% whenever I go out but yesterday I tiped 35cents on a 34 dollar bill. The main reason for this was the server i had. From the second I stepped in with my girlfriend it was clear we were the last people she wished to help out that day. She did not even attempt to be friendly when she took our order, gave a snippy remark when my girlfriend asked anquestion about a dish and took 15mins to bring a drink and another 3 to get the second one she forgot. After recieving our meal from another waiter she said not a single word to us, even as he walked by giving stellar service to other tables. In fact outside of taking our orders the only time she said a single word to either of us was when I took out cash to pay The bill, at which point she was all smiles, completly fake. At that point I changed my mind on tipping(was planning on leaving a tip of 10%, becase the food was amazing but the last gesture left me disgusted) and left a note instead, saying the food was wonderful but the waitress was rude and unwelcoming from the start. Was this the right move or should I have handled this differently?
The correct move was to go to the hostess and ask to speak to the manager. If your service was that bad, then she should have been reprimanded for her actions.
I discovered Your blog yesterday, -along with the “13 things your waiter will not tell you”, and I noticed that the tipping “requirement” is different in the states than in Europe (people complaining that those with accent leave a 10% tip -news flash because in Europe this is how you do it). In order for us visitors, could you by any means provide some guidelines to tipping? Also, because I’m not the kind of person who dines out 4 nights a week, I’m not all familiar with those fancy names sometimes I see on the menu, though sometimes I find things with a name (or ingredients list) that’s interesting enough for me to try it. In this case should I try my best and pronounce it, or just show it to the waiter/waitress? Taking that English is not my native language, (or say Chinese) is it ok to ask what exactly that name means? Also if we happen to have food allergy but don’t want to stick with the “safe food” is it ok for us to ask if the food in question has that particular ingredient (taking menus are not cook-books to write down everything)? And yes. Such a crappy costumer *will* leave a higher tip, for the extra care she/he requires. At leas where I come from…
Thank You for your patience and time and please keep up the good work!
Alice
You certainly shouldn’t think it is bad to ask questions. Trust me, we would much rather you say “I’m visiting this country, so I’m unfamiliar with the customs and food” than you perpetrate the stereotype of foreign customers not knowing how to tip. I suppose it is more humbling to ask for assistance, but having help is better than continuing on your trip, going to every restaurant not knowing what to do.
In the States, it is customary to tip 20% of the total bill if the service is great, 15-18% if the service was average, and 10% (with you talking to the manager) if the service was poor.
I have been a server for 7 years, in restaurants as a hostess or to go person for 3 years before that. I have a few things that just make me wanna punch something. I’m interested in your thoughts on the following:
1. Pre-printed tip cards or someone who pulls out the calculator on the cell phone as soon as the check arrives.
2. Being stiffed or tipped below 5%, but they leave me a religious pamphlet (this has only ever happened with Christianity btw).
Oh and I wholeheartedly agree with you on campers
I love your posts! I love dining out, and I pride myself on being an excellent customer. I am courteous and polite, tip 25-30% for good service, and NEVER camp. And, if I have the misfortune of dining with someone who is pestering the server with questions about the menu, I always tip extra well to make up for my dining companion’s rudeness. That being said, I also say thank you each time the server brings each course, refills my beverage, clears away plates, etc. Not in an overly dramatic way, just a polite thank you each time, without fail. Recently, I had just thanked a server as he was refilling my glass, when he shot me an annoyed look and said “You don’t need to thank me; it’s my job”. To which, I must say I was genuinely confused. Was he just having a bad day, or am I really being too polite? Please advise.
He was being rude. I say “thank you” every time my server brings something to the table, or removes something. As a server, it’s become a habit of whenever someone says “thank you”, I always reply with “you’re very welcome”.
I have noticed a rather odd trend lately. I am a server in Chicago, and have noticed many recent requests for sweet tea. Now I lived In GA, NC, and VA when I was a kid. I love sweet tea, but it is not regularly carried in restaurants north of tennessee. My theory blames McDonald’s. Ever since they started carrying sweet tea, the requests have started. If you don’t mind me asking, what city do you serve in and do you get many regional requests for food or drink like this?
Is there any advantage to becoming a hostess first, and a waitress (possibly) later? I’ve worked as a barista and as a catering assistant before, but I hesitate to say that either fully qualifies me to be a server, and so I thought hostessing might be a good transition
I personally believe that any hostess should have server experience. This prevents them from taking out any personal feelings towards a server (intentionally or not) through seating. Just like any other position in a restaurant, let your ambitions known to the manager and ask what the best course of action may be. As a hostess, be prepared to deal with angry customers from time to time, which would be good practice for the crap you deal with as a server.
I know a group of females who like to run servers like race horses (my fries aren’t hot enough, this water is/isn’t cold enough, etc) while leaving almost no to a very minimal tip and although I HATE going to a restaurant with them because of these annoying traits they are close friends of mine. Because I already know what kind of circus act I’m going to experience when dining with them I ususally look up the restaurant ahead of time and decide exactly what I want so that when the waiter/waitress comes over for the drink orders I can go ahead and give them my order. This is done in an attempt to distance myself pleasant and bubbly self from the witches I’m dining with (I really don’t want to get any of that “special sauce” that my friends probably will lol).
Quick scenario, my friends and I go out to eat (it’s 4 of us) and the restaurant was inexpesive. The order consisted of simple entrees burger meal, chicken tenders, chicken sandwich and cheese quesadilla. Neither of our meals came out to more than $15 roughly and after paying the waitress for our meal, one of the girls with me asked if we were leaving “our” tip on the table (I really hate joint tippers because those are usually the people who don’t like to tip and want to just mix the tip money into one pot to disguise that they are cheap). Having been giving the third degree many times before in the past about the amount I left being too much and not really wanting to go through that again I take out a $5 bill and a $1 bill and I place the $1 bill on the top of the $5 to cover the amount underneath it and place it on the table. We are walking out the door when the joint tipper says she meant to leave a $1 more and turns around and walks back to the table. She brushes the money I left, saw the amount and took back the $3 dollars left by her and the other 2 women ($1 each) and a $1 of my money…I’m left there flabbergasted.
So I submitted all of this to find out what I should do in the future to set myself apart from these annoying, rude and cheap women?
First of all, if you don’t want to insult your friends by telling them they are cheap, then you should personally go find the server and slip them an extra $5 or $10. I have had this happen many times before, mostly by adult aged children when their parents insist on paying and leaving 10% no matter how good of a job I have done. Another good way would be to have them all pay you cash and put the bill on your credit card, thereby leaving you in control of the tip. However, if you want this behavior to stop, I would recommend confronting your friends. Better yet, send them to this blog!
Best advice I’ve ever heard, Lauren. Keep up the good work!
Two questions about recent posts.
I am a female – and I feel uncomfortable dining in a bar. In a nice restaurant I feel liked I’m viewed as trying to pick someone up ~and~ it’s usually a bit noisier in the bar. Suggestions for dining alone and not being a terrible customer?
Also, I love dining out — fine dining – but am petite and wish to stay that way. I often order an appetizer and a salad as a meal.
I know.
You hate me.
Should I cease dining out?
I am a single woman, also, I don’t like eating at the bar, either, but that depends on the bar. Don’t worry about the servers that are snotty about serving a single, your money is just as good, but don’t camp. The smartest and best money making servers that I have ever worked with say “take the first and the last tables”, and the they treat everyone as an opportunity to shine.
Could someone answer why someone with 30 yrs experience at ALL levels of the F&B Industry .. be denied a server position because of having a 1 year break in employment? Yes this is a crappy economy and my state is at 13.5% unemployment rate … Yes there was both a death and a heart attack in my family and since I wasn’t working, it was my job to take care of both .. so why the hell would this pompous ass (lack of) Human Resources representative, tell me that since it’s been over a year I’m not current enough for the position? Just askin!
People always say that eating out is bad for you… which I don’t understand. Are even the supposedly “healthy” dishes on the menu full of fat and calories? What have you seen? Is it safe to order an egg omelette or steak without it being slathered in butter?
Nope, they want the food to taste good. Diet at home, and when you dine out, enjoy, you can always skip desert and only eat half, take the rest home for another meal, but do enjoy!
Hey servernotslave,
I’ve been reading your blog the last few months and even though I don’t work in the restaurant industry, I still find myself relating to most of the things you say about dealing with the public. I work as an Assistant Property Manager in a mid-sized, family-owned rental company and you’ve sort of inspired me to start my own blog. I’ve added you to my blog list, I was wondering if you would do the same.
My website address is
http://worldofapm.blogspot.com/
Hey servernotslave,
I’ve added you to my blog roll and I was wondering if you would add me to yours – http://worldofapm.blogspot.com/
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now and have found that I can generally relate to everything you say about working with the public, even though I’m not in the restaurant industry. You’ve sort of inspired me to start my own blog about being an Assistant Property Manager and working with the public on a daily basis.
Appreciate it, Mr. Morris!
been in the business since 2/12/08, not that long, but i sure as hell know what im talking about. was lead server at one restaurant after 6 months, then they closed and i went to another location, took me 4 months there. then i got tired of it and went to another chain restaurant. been there 7 months and am in the top 5 of their serving staff…
great blog, love reading it…
my thing i do, i ‘complain’ about the bad tips as i go, not really complaining, just “damn that sucked” or “hey, look at this, $5 on a $70, beat THAT”.. other servers hate it, yet when they see how much they made at the end of the night, they always bitch and complain as they do their sidework. where i know i’ve been fucked the whole day so who cares.
where i work, im pulling in about $800 a week, in about 38-40 hours. high was 1200 low was 500 (holidays vs beautiful weather weeks).
i always hate waiting on the stereotypes though.. “lemme get a strawberry lemonade, extra strawberries, buffalo wings with extra bleu cheese, and a steak, wewll-wewll done”… “water no ice, and me and my family of 3 will split this one pasta dish, do you give out bread?”… “remonade, and ginger salmon”…. worst things i can hear, and i know the tip USUALLY wont be good….
Not so much a question as a comment. First off I don’t have face book…Too many creepers and way too much spam! Some props to you for puttin this together, its a great resource.
I was in the biz for 15 years, like you I pretty much did everything FOH and BOH.
My experience as a server is not solely about how lame customers are (although the $2 $5 rule kills me!). I do have to say something about the Owners and Managers of these fine (or not so fine) establishments. I, Like you, have worked in Corporate as well as the mom and pops (which by the way are the worst in my experience!). I live in San Francisco and have worked in Sonoma (wine country), fine dining, median, Bistro, and wine bars. I have also worked at Denny’s, Applebee’s, and Tony Roma’s…The one thing these all have in common is that, as a server you have a boss. If you are lucky it will have been someone who actually Worked as a server at some point in their lives, if not, you will end up with what I like to call ‘Bosszilla’.
I made an amazing living as a server and bartender ( yes I’m female, and have big bazooms;). It helps to be an amazing waitress that can anticipate her guests needs… The thing that always drove me nutz way the sexual harassment (from the boss)(we expect it from customers). You as a male I’m sure get some of it ( I know I was guilty with some of my co-workers, but only after we had come to an agreement, or slept together, tehe), When yhour in the weeds and you go back and ask your manager to drink your table the last thing you want to hear is ‘I’d rather drink a piece of you” har har!. Worse is the Owner that helps you, then calls you back after your shift and tells you that your relying too much on help from your co-workers and management… Sorry if I’m in the weeds and your sitting back filing your nails….in the kitchen! I am going to ask you to help…Hell isn’t it your job!
I injured myself at work and can no longer Be a server, which to those of us that really love this work is devastating. My boss then sent me to quack after quack, cause we know that servers don’t get insurance, and Workers Comp. is just that…a compromise! I was mis-diagnosed for 4 years and then finally when I couldn’t stand or hold a freakin plate anymore I was ‘laid off’ due to the economy…
Blah blah, poor me.
Listen my point is that Customers Suck!, we expect that. What I don’t get is why the boss’ feel the need to be asses too. I always worked hard, if I didn’t make the most tips (pool or not) I was always top 3. I was a corporate trainer on how to up-sell crappy food, as a manager I was always patient when training and helping where needed. As a co-worker, if I wasn’t busy I always helped out with side work or expediting. That’s what a team player does!
To all the Owners and Managers: Stop being such dicks and cunts and help a server out! You may get more in salary, but we still make more than you do! and if you help us out we’ll tip you, dip shit! I don’t know why more servers don’t tip their managers when they help? as a manager they do everything (when they are good) from picking up a table so you can go deal with ‘girl stuff’ or take a long needed break, to expediting, to just filling freakin water.
To all the Owners and Managers you use their position to harass the servers when they are busy, Fuck off! We need this job to make ends meet, we don’t need to dread coming to work in our ‘uniform’ (why is it that the shirts are always so thin and tight?), to have every last one of you ogle our rock hard nipples, cause you keep the AC up to 50 degrees!
As much as I complain about table so and so for not tipping me at least 15% and running me like your my pimp on friday nite, You at least have no clue.
What to do about the Owners and Managers….I dunno. I think it will be one for the ages. Ha, maybe I should start a blog for all the crappy Owners and managers that the servers can send them to… I’ll very clearly and in simple terms that even a college graduate can understand, explain the Legal aspects of being a douche!…tehe.
Thanks for the blog,and hearing me out.
nonnie
Nonnie, what’s the “$2 $5 rule”?
How is pricing of menu items decided?
One of the many unanswerable questions of the universe…
Hi Servernotslave,
Do you ever get customers who come to your restaurant and ask specifically for you to be their waiter? Are you flattered by that, or does it feel strange?
Honestly, John, it makes my day when they do that. It tells me that they were so happy with my service the last time they came in that they felt like no other waiter in the restaurant could make them enjoy their time more than me. Now, that’s because I’m a guy. I know that my female coworkers often get weirded out by creepy guys requesting them, but that’s tits for you.
Hi Servernotslave, when are you going to start posting again? I miss reading your posts!
When are you going to post a new entry?
Edited.
Check your email, Steve.
Tipping for bad service:
I work as a server and never had a complaint about me. But as a customer I tip even though I get bad service because I understand. I wish to know what you think about my idea:
Let’s say I’m a surgeon, and I’m a good one. One day I operate on a patient, and the patient dies on my table. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad surgeon, It doesn’t mean I didn’t do the best I can to the best of my abilities, and It doesn’t mean I’m not gonna get paid for it. I still will. Sometimes bad outcomes happen even if we did our best. as long as everyone knows I tried/ did my job I’ll get paid for it. He still gets a fat paycheck. If I screwed up then I get a malpractice suit. So If I was a server why do people think I shouldn’t get paid when I do my job and I did the best I can even though the outcome wasn’t 100%?
The point is. we all make mistakes sometimes, if an accountant screws up a financial statement the company still pays for the time. they don’t say because u screwed up you will work 5 hours with no pay.
So I think people should still tip for bad service, except during the worst of occasions where everyone knows your server screwed up. and we know 99% of the time the kitchen’s at fault.
I’m wondering what amount waitstaff normally tips out their bartender and I’ll bet this is the place to find out!
About 5% of my bar sales +/- the kind of money I made, or the amount of time they spend behind the bar chatting with each other holding my ticket in their hand (happens way too much).
i am wondering where you have been! i miss your posts…
no recent posts, hope all is fine
Hello,
Im organizing an event for waiters and bartenders next month and would love to speak to you about the industry if you have time in the coming days?
Also, if you happen to be in the tri-state area, I’d love it if you could be a panelist but not sure how possible that is.
Thanks,
Kathleen Horan
More…more…we need more!! Good blog, post more!!
Saw your response in the above link today. I haven’t had time to view your site so I’m not even sure you will post me, but here goes…..
It does not matter where we go, but it’s a guarantee that EVERYONE (from McDonalds on up to HIGH-END restaurants will mistakenly refer to my niece in some form of the “male gender.” Her parents go as far as to say “daughter what will you have” or “and my daughter will have” with a hand gesture pointing to my niece. Even then the waiter/waitress doesn’t hear or remember. This past Thanksgiving holiday we opted to eat a very high-end restaurant. When we were leaving my niece tells me that she’s over it and that she doesn’t have an issue with it. I beg to differ when she tells me “he called me dude/bud ELEVEN times during our 1-1/2 hour stay.” Can you PLEASE get the word out that this is a different world in MANY ways and everyone from Management down to those that clean the tables…. You need to stop assuming that who you see is not always gender specific. So PLEASE stop your gender specific comments as this may be a big reason why you don’t get the tip you think you deserve and/or repeat business.
A very sad loving Aunt,
~Barbara / San Jose, CA
I just read your post on a yahoo.com article… you work in fine dining and yet you start off with “Hi, my name is,” I get wanting to be asked for by name but what is it, Outback Steak House? Your guest isn’t there to make a new friend, they want you to bring them food yet be ambiguous and bring the food, bring the drinks, bring the check; the tip is sadly a formality to them. Basically what I am saying is they generally don’t care who you are and they tip because its the custom! Get over yourself and allow your work to make the money; the last thing I want as a fine dining server is my tables all knowing my name so when I am helping my coworker get out of the weeds I get to hear a table across the room shouting my name.
I was serving for three years and the only thing I must say is where I have worked, every server relies on profiling our customers. What I mean is servers usually hated old men there grumpy, middle eastern and Asian are very angry most of the times, and snobby white women. We loved young couples families that were polite including children. I think you get it, well if you don’t feel like being profiled the minute you walk in I suggest you try to be polite and understanding the nicer you are the nicer I was.
Ever have any coffee shop/ barista stories?
Hello, past two days, I have been working in this restaurant/club as a bus-boy, The shifts are 12 hours each, you are not allowed sit, take breaks or lunch breaks. There is no salary, you work of waiter’s tips. Its rather difficult to stand all day. Is this how all restaurants are? I find this sort of work quite hellish. Please tell me if you think I should leave.
Sorry if this one has been asked before……..I just read your proper tipping blog (I answered correctly, btw:). My question is: Are you supposed to tip on the subtotal or after tax total? I always tip 20% of the SUBtotal – which usually ends up looking like a 15% tip if you’re only looking at the entire bill.
tree duties for an expediter before opening and after closing shift